


The Faces Within

by firejiya



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, College Student Eren Yeager, Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls, Drawing, Famous Artist Levi, Fluff, France - Freeform, M/M, Mild Love Triangle, Paris - Freeform, Pining Levi, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-02-27 08:37:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 30,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2686310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firejiya/pseuds/firejiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Jaeger, a college student, travels to France during the summer to learn portrait drawing from renown artist Levi. When simple lessons turn into heated passion and undeniable attraction, Eren and Levi are forced to confront their feelings for one another and reckon with Eren's past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this work on fanfiction.net and decided I wanted to share it with the AO3 community as well, so here you are!
> 
> Edit: Someone is using my name and posting this work as their own on Wattpad. That person is not me, my work was posted only on fanfiction.net and AO3.

Eren raised his hand to the doorbell, excited but also somewhat nervous.

This was his big day, the day he had been waiting for all his life. Ever since he could remember, Eren had wanted to draw people. He wanted to draw the many different kinds of faces found on this beautiful and diverse world. And now he found himself in Paris, standing at the doorstep of none other than Levi, one of the greatest portrait artists to live. His portraits were indistinguishable from photographs.

Eren was still confused as to why somebody as rich and renown as Levi would agree to teach Eren portrait drawing in the first place, but he dismissed this thought as he finally rang the doorbell.

The door swung open, and there stood Levi eyeing Eren up and down before saying, "Hello, brat."

Eren's eyes widened. What person addressed someone they just met as brat?

Eren also couldn't help but become mesmerized by the man in front of him who Eren could only describe as sexy.

Maybe it was his sharp gray eyes that held extreme intensity and indifference at the same time, or his lips that seemed to be permanently sealed in a smirk. Maybe it was the way his jet black hair contrasted so beautifully with his pale skin, or the slight bulge in his biceps as he leaned against the door frame. Whatever it was, Eren was transfixed.

A few seconds passed before Eren cleared his thoughts and extended his hand saying, "I'm Eren Jaeger. It's truly a pleasure to meet you sir."

Levi eyed the extended hand but didn't shake it, instead turning on his heel and uttering a short, "Come in."

***

Levi walked through his hallways, hearing the sounds of Eren's footsteps following him.

He rolled his eyes as the brat made gasps and comments about how lavish Levi's home was. Levi found himself questioning why he was offering to teach his artistry to some college brat. Why was he wasting his time when he had his own projects to work on?

But Levi couldn't help but feel satisfied with his decision when he opened the door and saw Eren standing there. Eren with his perfectly tousled brown hair, tall sturdy frame, and soft, almost red lips had certainly caught Levi's attention. And those eyes, those wide, ocean-colored eyes that carried so much emotion drew Levi into their depths. Levi had to admit, the brat was hot.

Levi stopped in front of a desk and turned to Eren. "This is where you'll be working for now." Eren found himself in a room full of old furniture, some covered by bed sheets, and easels everywhere. The only light source was the sun that streamed through the windows and illuminated the specks of dust in the air. While it was very different from the rest of Levi's classy, state of the art home, Eren thought this room was perfect for creating art.

Levi sat down and motioned for Eren to do the same. Eren realized he hadn't really discussed much with Levi about how long their lessons would be and how much they would cost.

As if reading his mind, Levi told him, "I think we should start around 3 hours a day and see where we go from there."

"So, um, how much would that cost?" Eren asked hesitantly, not knowing what he would do if Levi decided to charge an exorbitant amount for these lessons.

Instead, Levi simply shook his head. "Brat, don't worry about payment right now. I'll charge if I feel like it." Eren was about to open his mouth and insist on paying when he earned an intimidating glare from Levi that silenced him right away. Levi himself was unsure why he was doing this for free. Maybe he saw teaching a kid to draw for free as charity.

They sat in silence for a few minutes while Levi stared at Eren. Eren began to feel uncomfortable under his gaze, but was afraid to say anything, thinking that maybe this silence was a rite of passage for aspiring artists or something.

Eventually, when the silence became unbearable, Eren spoke up. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but why don't you have a French accent?"

Levi just scoffed. "Just because I live in France, doesn't meant I'm French. I'm from the US; I'm just living in France because there's no better place for art than here, right?"

And then Levi added in a French accent that sent tingles down Eren's spine, "But you know Eren, I could speak French if that interests you."

Eren tensed, trying to hide the fact that he was turned on by that. When he realized Levi wasn't serious, Eren smiled, beginning to feel more at ease. "So, where do we start?" he asked Levi, who drawled, "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, I'm an undergrad student at Brown University and I'm majoring in art, but you could probably guess that."

"How old are you?"

"20. How about you sir?" Eren asked before he could think about whether that was respectful or not.

Levi looked at him as if to say, 'How dare you ask your teacher his age?' but then sighed and told him, "32. Also, call me Levi."

Eren was a bit surprised. Levi looked a lot younger than 32, but Eren supposed he didn't really care when it came to his favorite artist.

Levi, seemingly done with his interrogation lifted Eren's chin with the tip of his finger and produced a paper and pencil saying, "Well kid, show me what you got."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting a chapter a day or so here until I get caught up to where this fic already is on ffnet.

Eren was skyping with Armin, his best friend back home while he wolfed down cereal before his lesson.

"So, how's Paris?" the blond asked.

"I haven't really explored much of the city" Eren responded truthfully. He did not venture very far from his apartment as he was completely inept at understanding French. He had seen the Eiffel tower from afar, but not much else.

"What's Levi like? What does he look like?"

"He's.. interesting." Eren then smiled as he remembered what Levi looked like.

Armin, understanding his friend's expression raised a brow and asked, "That hot, huh?"

Eren blushed. "I can't deny that he's a good looking guy. But he's just so hard to figure out. He's really cold. I really want to know him more."

Armin stayed quiet, thinking. "Eren," he said after a moment, "I don't think you should get too attracted to him." Armin sighed before adding, "She's still waiting for you, you know."

Eren's fists curled, anger flashing through his eyes. "Armin, I'm ending this call right now if you start talking about her."

From the distance, Jean, who was Armin's roommate and Eren's frenemy of sorts asked, "Hey Eren, if you're into this artist guy, does this mean I can have your ex?"

"What was that? Armin, is someone saying something over there?" Eren asked.

Armin exhaled, thankful that Eren hadn't heard Jean's remark. Eren's past was a touchy subject.

"No, that was just Jean blabbering something stupid. Come over here and say hi to Eren!" Armin yelled at Jean.

Eren smiled as Jean came into view on his screen. "Hey horseface!" At this Jean scowled, but it wasn't long before all three of them were laughing and sharing stories so joyfully, Eren didn't even feel like he was miles away from them. Eren felt full of warmth and comfort in the presence of his friends. He almost didn't want to face the cold and icy Levi, no matter how mesmerizing he was.

***

For the first few days, Levi had not taught Eren much. He wanted to know how well the brat could already draw. So he would watch patiently as Eren produced eyes, noses, and other generic features.

Today, Levi had instructed Eren to start by drawing a pair of eyes. Eren's tongue slipped out of his mouth ever so slightly and his brow furrowed as he concentrated. "How cute" Levi thought. When Eren finished, Levi studied the eyes Eren had drawn and nodded approvingly.

After a moment, he told Eren, "You have beautiful eyes, both on paper and in reality." He spared a glance at those ocean colored orbs that could almost melt his cold exterior. Almost. Without giving Eren a chance to respond, Levi continued, "Okay, we'll work on improving the eyes later. Now draw a mouth."

Eren worked dutifully and when he was finished he eagerly looked at Levi, awaiting his approval once again. Levi stared at what Eren had drawn and then turned his stare onto Eren's plump, almost red lips that looked so inviting.

"Silly brat" he murmured. "Your lips are so perfect, so fucking perfect, and this is the crap you give me on paper?"

Eren stammered, taken aback by the sudden criticism. "I-I, um."

"Eren, have you ever been kissed before?"

At this, Eren stopped stammering and said confidently, "Of course I have."

Levi continued, unfazed, his voice dripping with seduction in every ounce, "Maybe it's been too long. I think you need to be reminded of what lips feel like. Only then will you be able to draw them."

Without thinking, Eren leaned closer, close enough for Levi to grab his lips in a hungry kiss.

The kiss was unlike anything Eren had experienced before. Eren found himself smothered in heat as he attacked Levi's lips and Levi plunged his tongue into the caverns of Eren's mouth. Eren clawed at Levi's hair, eager to feel more of the fire that Levi had awoken in him. Gone was the icy cold that Eren had seen in Levi before. Now as Eren looked into Levi's eyes, all he saw was hot, raging desire that burned the gray eyes black. Levi grabbed Eren's collar roughly, pulling him closer as he bit the boy's lips, eliciting moans from him. Eren wanted to be engulfed in the raw passion forever, never leaving this ecstasy.

But Levi abruptly released their lips and let go of Eren's collar, resulting in the boy falling back against his chair with a thud.

The smirk once again on his face, Levi simply leaned back and said, "Now draw me some real lips."

***

Ever since the kiss, Eren's lessons had been getting longer and longer until he was spending entire days at Levi's house, perfecting his art and having a bit of fun. Levi and Eren hadn't done much besides that first kiss, but there were moments when Levi would stalk towards Eren and pin him to the wall, groping his crotch while snatching his lips in a searing kiss before walking away as if nothing had happened.

Moments like these left Eren hot and bothered.

But there were also moments when Levi would place his long, elegant fingers on Eren's hands, guiding them into the correct positions on the paper, his cool breath ghosting on Eren's neck as he whispered his advice on drawing techniques into Eren's ear. Eren would feel his heart rate accelerate, and he could feel Levi's heart against his back, beating just as rapidly. And when Eren looked into Levi's eyes during these moments, he didn't see blackened lust. He swore he saw those steely gray eyes soften, if only for a second.

And then Levi would straighten up, all gentleness gone and say something like, "Brat, now use what I told you and draw something that doesn't make me want to kick your face in."

And Eren would continue drawing, not understanding why Levi was such a tease. Why he was so moody, so hard to decipher.

"Oi, brat! Lunch is ready" Levi yelled from the kitchen a bit later. Now that Eren was at Levi's house all day, he ate lunch with the man too. Eren insisted on paying Levi at least for the lunch he was providing, and Levi couldn't object. That brat was stubborn as hell when he wanted to be.

Eren sat in silence as Levi joined him and offered him a chicken and pepper jack cheese panini. Eren groaned internally as he bit into the sandwich and was greeted with hot, melted deliciousness. He found himself almost a bit angry with Levi. Why did that man have to be so perfect? He was an artistic genius, beautiful enough to be a model, and now he was a chef too?

Eren pushed these thoughts aside and found himself wondering what Levi thought of him. Was Levi as interested in Eren as Eren was in him? Surely he had to feel some attraction to the boy, otherwise he wouldn't kiss him with such passion. But then again, Eren was just a lowly college student. How could he possibly interest a famous artist?

Eren wondered if Levi had other students in the past. Did he kiss them too?

Putting down his sandwich, Eren asked the man, "So, what have your students in the past been like?"

"I've never had any other students. Teaching isn't my thing" he snapped. Then seeing Eren's expression, he added, "I'm only teaching because you're already in France and it would be cruel to send you back, okay brat?"

Eren, determined to find out more, looked up at Levi and asked, "Why do you do so much for me?"

Levi looked away, silent. To be honest, he didn't know. He wasn't sure why he taught the brat, fed the brat, much less why he kissed the brat. But when he looked back into those turquoise eyes staring at him, he felt like he knew the answer.

Levi leaned forward across the table until his nose was almost touching Eren's. He kept his gaze locked on those enrapturing eyes and smirked when he noticed a tinge of pink on Eren's cheeks. At first, Eren thought Levi was going to kiss him again. But Levi just answered his question with a simple, "Because I want to."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi takes Eren on a tour of Paris and stuff happens.

Eren had been taking daily lessons with Levi for almost 2 weeks now, and he was really starting to get good. He now drew preliminary portraits of celebrities, family members, and friends. While he was still nowhere near Levi's mastery, he was proud of himself. Plus, he didn't exactly expect Levi to take him to his own level. As an artist, Levi needed to keep some of his secrets to himself to ensure that his work remained unique.

Even if Eren had gotten better at drawing, he was still terrible at figuring out what Levi was thinking about. His encounters with Levi were very much like when he had first started. Levi would be professional and removed when teaching him, only occasionally showing his softer, more gentle side. And then there were those moments of heat and passion, when Levi would tease Eren mercilessly.

He was still a mystery.

So Eren took it as a welcome opportunity when he showed up at Levi's door and Levi appeared, announcing that they would be touring the city today. Eren saw this as a chance to finally get behind the man's shell and see what he was all about.

It would also explain Levi's appearance today. The artist was clad in black dress pants, a tight white t-shirt that clung to his well defined muscles, a black suit blazer, and finally a thin green scarf that was slung loosely around his neck. He looked straight out of a magazine, and Eren resisted the urge to run his fingers up and down the suave man in front of him.

Instead, he smiled and said, "You look great. Why are you so dressed up?"

"This is Paris we're talking about. It's a good idea to dress up. In fact, since you look so utterly ordinary today, we're stopping at your place so you can wear something better before we go to the city."

Eren stood straight up and held his hand over his heart, shouting, "Yes Captain!". At this, Levi scowled, but then allowed himself to chuckle. He even went so far as to ruffle Eren's tousled brown hair before suddenly jerking his hand back and turning away without another word. Eren smiled to himself. Levi's shell was cracking, and the day had barely even started.

***

Levi sat impatiently in his Mercedes as he waited for Eren to change clothes and come back. It had already been 15 minutes and Levi wasn't sure how much longer he could wait. How long did it take to find some nice clothes and put them on?

'Maybe the brat doesn't have any dressy clothes and that's what's taking him so long' Levi thought to himself. Eren didn't seem to be the kind of person who cared about what he was wearing that much.

After what felt like an eternity, the front door of the apartment complex opened and Eren stepped out. Levi thought he felt his pants tighten as he took in the sight in front of him, but he couldn't be sure. Eren wore a red dress shirt that he left unbuttoned towards the top, revealing some of his toned chest muscles. Leave it to the brat to choose a shirt color that complemented his eyes so effortlessly. The black skinny jeans he wore were so tight, Levi felt himself itching to see what Eren's firm butt looked like in them.

Levi shook his head, getting rid of all lewd thoughts as Eren opened the car door.

"Is this good enough?" he asked Levi innocently. Levi was surprised. Did this kid really not understand the effect he had on the man? "You look good" he told Eren, and the brat seemed pleased.

"So, are we going someplace in particular?" Eren asked.

"Many places. First, I'll take you to the Louvre museum." Eren's eyes widened and he grinned, saying, "This is so exciting! I've always wanted to go there."

For the rest of the drive, Eren eagerly rambled on and on about the historical significance of the Louvre and its paintings. Levi groaned and leaned his head back. All he wanted was a bit of silence, but he didn't have the heart to tell Eren to shut up when he was clearly so interested in the matter.

Levi sighed in relief when they finally got to the museum. "Snap out of it brat. We're here" he told Eren, who quickly complied.

"2 tickets please" Levi told the man at the front desk once they had parked.

"Ah, Levi! What a pleasant surprise! To what do I owe the great pleasure of your presence?"

"Hello Erwin. It has been a while since I last came here. I'm just showing someone new around Paris."

"This 'someone new' is this very fine young man, I presume?" Erwin asked, gesturing towards Eren.

"Yes." was Levi's only reply.

"He seems quite young. But he couldn't be a student of yours because Levi doesn't teach, right?" Erwin inquired.

Levi did not feel like explaining why he was teaching Eren when everyone knew that famous Levi had never had a student before, so he answered, "He's a friend."

"Hmm, just a friend, or perhaps something more?" Erwin winked.

"Oh please" Levi scoffed. But the faint blush on his cheeks didn't go unnoticed by Eren.

***

An hour and many paintings later, Eren and Levi were standing in front of the Mona Lisa. Eren had been completely appreciative of the artistry in all the paintings they had seen so far, but now he stood, a little perplexed.

After a bit of silence, Eren spoke, "Why is everyone so intrigued by the Mona Lisa? What's so special about this painting? It's not even that realistic or beautiful. Why does it get so much recognition?"

Levi contemplated for a moment then said, "Oi brat. I don't get philosophical too often, so listen up."

Eren turned to face Levi, who continued. "Art is a form of expression; an interpretation. It can never be right or wrong. Art is about seeing beyond, seeing further than the average eye can see. Da Vinci saw something in the Mona Lisa that maybe you can't see yet. To find the truth, you need to see the faces within. The face within the drawing, and the face within you."

Eren turned back to look at the Mona Lisa, and after a few minutes, Levi saw his expression change from one of confusion to one of understanding. So his advice had worked.

Eren then reached out and grabbed Levi's hand. The turquoise eyes had an intense fire in them that Levi had never seen before. "I want to look at all the paintings with new eyes" Eren told Levi before yanking him all the way back to where they had started.

***

Levi sighed contentedly as he sat down and stretched his legs out. He hadn't realized standing up for a few hours would make him this sore. He looked up at Eren who was carefully looking through the menu of the cafe they had come to eat lunch at. Eren then opened his wallet, looking to see how much money he had.

Levi interrupted his thoughts. "Brat, this meal is on me" he said with an authority Eren didn't refuse.

But Eren had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "If you're treating me to lunch, does that make this a date?"

Levi stiffened, but decided to play along. "What if I said yes?"

Eren grinned. "I would be damn happy."

"Well then, consider this a date" Levi replied, smirking. But Eren didn't see a smirk. Instead he saw a wide smile that told him just how happy Levi was to be on this date as well.

Their food arrived shortly and both men dug in, only now realizing how famished they had been.

"So… Levi," Eren said in between bites. "You've never really told me anything about yourself."

Levi sighed. The blazing sun had dulled his inhibitions, putting him in a light-hearted mood. He was not reluctant to talk about himself at the moment, so he told Eren his story.

"I grew up in New York City. I was an only child, and both of my parents died in a car accident shortly before I completed high school. I dropped out of high school and fell into depression, losing all motivation to do anything. But the world is a cruel place." Levi said, smiling bitterly. "My parents didn't leave behind much money, and I was 18, an adult. So I was kicked out of my home and I wandered the streets for weeks before realizing that I needed to support myself. I started drawing portraits of people in the streets, hoping for a few bucks, but I guess I got lucky and now I'm here in front of you."

Eren didn't know how to respond. This was not what he had expected when he asked Levi to talk about himself. Was this the reason behind Levi's steely gray eyes, eyes that had no warmth in them?

Eren gazed at those eyes and said softly, "I'm proud of you, Levi."

Levi was surprised. He had expected Eren to respond with the usual, 'I'm sorry' that he got from everyone else. But this was something else entirely. He felt an unexpectedly warm sensation tingle through him, and when he looked up at those turquoise eyes, he felt true comfort, after all these years. Levi cleared his throat and said, "Thank you Eren." It was simple, but Eren heard the sincerity in each word.

***

The rest of the day was spent visiting various attractions around Paris. While Levi had expected that telling Eren about his past would dampen the mood, it had actually created a feeling of trust between the two of them that relaxed both of them considerably.

At the Eiffel Tower, Eren went berserk with enthusiasm. "I can't believe I'm actually here! It's even better than they say it is. It's an architectural beauty!" he exclaimed.

Levi ran a hand through his hair and sighed, bored. He had been to the Eiffel Tower so many times that it no longer interested him that much. He would let Eren burn himself out, and then they could leave.

Suddenly, Eren popped up in front of Levi, who jumped back, startled. "I'm going to take a selfie in front of the tower and you're going to be in it" Eren announced.

"A selfie? What's that?" Levi questioned.

"Seriously?! You're not that old, you should know" Eren laughed, causing Levi to scowl.

"Well anyway, a selfie is just a picture you take of yourself with your phone. And you can make cute faces and stuff" Eren explained.

"That's ridiculous. Whatever happened to good quality photography?" Levi scoffed.

"Levi, it's a form of expression. It can't be right or wrong." he said teasingly as he imitated the man's earlier words.

"Fine, whatever. Just take your stupid selfie so we can get out of here" he snapped. But he had to admit, something about the silly pictures was quite fun.

***

It was now evening and Eren was tired, but nowhere near ready to go home. He had just eaten dinner with Levi at a very lavish restaurant, but he paid his own share this time, claiming that if Levi had paid for his dinner too, Eren would be inescapably indebted to the man.

"Are we doing anything else now?" Eren asked Levi.

"Yes. We're going dancing."

Of all the possible things they could do, Eren would never have guessed dancing. Levi certainly did not seem like the type to go a club.

Sure enough, when Levi drove them to the venue for the night, Eren found out that they were not going clubbing. They were going ballroom dancing.

"Levi," he hissed as they got out of the car. "I don't know if you realize this, but the only kind of dancing I can do is fist pumping. Why are we here?"

Levi looked at him with disinterest, as if to say, 'And I care, why?' and then continued into the building, leaving Eren with no choice but to follow him.

Once inside, Eren noticed that everybody here was very beautiful and very fancy. The men were all in suits, and the women in colorful, flowing gowns. Eren felt uncomfortably under-dressed.

"I'm going to go get a drink. Do you want one?" Levi asked him.

"Um, I think you forgot that I'm underage" Eren replied with annoyance. Levi seemed to be contemplating just getting him a drink anyway, but he made up his mind and said, "Suit yourself" and then ventured towards the bar.

Women bobbed around Levi, obviously attracted to him, and it wasn't long before people swarmed around him, asking him questions about his art. Levi talked and laughed with everybody, wine glass in hand.

Eren was pissed. First of all, he didn't want to be here. Second of all, now that he was here, Levi left him all by himself with nobody to talk to.

Then, two women, probably around Levi's age came up to Eren and began dancing around him placing their hands on him. Eren backed away, but they held on to him.

"Mmm, he's a young one. I'd love to make him my pet for the night" one of them said. Eren noticed their hold on him becoming tighter and rougher. Before he had time to react, a man pushed Eren back and turned to the women. "Keep your hands off my boyfriend" he snarled. It was Levi.

"Whoa, relax man. We were just having a bit of fun with the hottie. We didn't realize he was taken" the women said unapologetically before walking away.

Levi turned to Eren, worry apparent in his eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I would've told them to get lost anyway." Eren paused for a moment then added, "So I'm your boyfriend now?"

"No." Levi snapped. "I just told them that because otherwise they wouldn't have left you alone. But regardless, I won't ditch you again." He grabbed Eren's arm. "Come with me. We're going to dance."

"I can't dance" Eren protested, but was cut off when Levi said, "Trust me."

There had been people dancing before, but now the dance floor was empty. It was as if people had cleared the way and left the floor for just Eren and Levi. Eren gulped nervously as he looked around and saw they had an audience. People, it seemed, were anxious to see Levi dance with his so called "boyfriend."

And then Eren felt himself being whirled and twirled to the music that was playing. He heard cheers from the audience, but all of that was drowned out when he locked his gaze with Levi. As they spun together across the floor, all Eren saw, felt, or heard was Levi. Levi was everywhere. His breaths, his eyes, his cool hands that guided Eren. Eren found himself wondering once again how Levi was so perfect. Levi himself was such a good dancer that he effortlessly made Eren seem like one too.

After Eren was lifted off the ground a couple times, Levi stopped twirling him and instead danced close to Eren, swaying his hips tantalizingly with the music. Eren felt the music seep into his pores and he began moving against Levi with skills he didn't know he possessed.

Then, with a newly found dominance, Eren flipped Levi around and began grinding subtly against the shorter man's backside. Eren's teeth grazed Levi's ear as he put his arms around Levi's waist from behind.

But Levi was not one to submit to anyone for long, and he turned around quickly, pulling Eren towards him and running his fingers down the young man's back. He let Eren fall into a dip, and as the music neared the end, he pulled Eren up slowly to his own level and then crashed his lips onto the boy's lips.

Eren saw Levi's eyes once again clouded by blackened lust. His own eyes were alight with the intense fire from before. He fell into the ecstasy that was Levi's mouth on his mouth, sucking, biting, and licking. His ability to make reasonable thoughts melted away as he was possessed with fiery passion. And then Levi withdrew and turned to face the crowd. Eren snapped out of his trance and was greeted with screams of approval and wild applause.

***

The drive to Eren's apartment was silent for the most part.

"So, I guess now everyone that was there thinks I'm your boyfriend." Eren stated.

"It's because I kissed you in the heat of the moment. I shouldn't have done that in public." Levi replied.

"Well, how do you feel about people thinking of me as your boyfriend?" Eren asked.

"Rumors will be rumors" Levi said firmly, leaving no room for further discussion.

Then he muttered under his breath so Eren couldn't hear him, "But this is one rumor I could get used to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Eren and Levi dance to is Bauklotze from the SnK soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpWjrfY7BXw  
> The OST is actually so amazing though.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are high... feelings are suppressed.

Eren sighed as he plopped down on his bed, finally in pajamas. Those skinny jeans were tighter than he'd imagined, but Levi seemed to really like them. Eren saw Levi checking out his butt a couple times during the day, and the thought amused him.

Eren had heard what Levi muttered in the car earlier. "But this is one rumor I could get used to" Levi had said, thinking Eren couldn't hear him. But Eren did hear, and now he thought about what this meant.

It meant Levi would like it if Eren was his boyfriend. Levi wanted it. Levi wanted Eren. He was just too proud to admit it. Or maybe he was too afraid of getting attached. And Eren now knew that if he really tried, he could make Levi his.

And Eren found himself wondering how he felt. Sure, he wanted Levi. That much was clear. They seemed to have an attraction, a chemistry that neither of them could resist. Eren's body desired Levi's with a ravaging hunger. But did Eren's mind desire Levi? Did Eren want to be Levi's boyfriend?

He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if he was ready. Ready to move on that is. Could he really move on past her and leave behind such an important chapter of his life? At the thought of her, anger coursed through Eren's veins and he felt himself wanting to yell. Why was it so hard to forget her? Why couldn't he be happy without her?

And then it struck Eren. There was no reason he couldn't be happy. He was across the ocean, exploring new things, meeting new people, becoming a new person. For once, he was living life for himself and nobody else.

Without another thought or consideration, Eren had made up his mind. He would enjoy himself. He would go for Levi with all he had. He wouldn't rest until Levi was his for keeps, and that was that.

***

The next day, Eren was drawing, quietly humming as he worked. Levi came out of the kitchen, drinking a glass of juice, and peered over Eren's shoulder.

"Who are you drawing?" Levi asked.

"This is Armin. He's my best friend."

"He looks like a girl," Levi said finally after studying the portrait for a few moments.

Eren snickered. Of course Levi would make a remark like that.

"He's a pretty girl." Levi deadpanned, no humor in his voice. Eren looked up at Levi to gauge if he was being sarcastic, but Levi's face was stoic as ever, giving away no information.

"But he's not as pretty as you" Levi added, his voice low. At this, Eren beamed. His eyes became wide with emotion and Levi couldn't help but feel like he was staring at a puppy.

"You think I'm pretty?" Eren asked in a voice that made him seem like a 5 year old.

"Of course, brat. Now stop looking at me like that. You're giving me the creeps." Levi snapped. Eren returned to his work, still beaming, and his humming was noticeably more energetic than before.

Levi sat down and flipped through a magazine contentedly. He treasured peaceful moments like these, moments he could take for himself and his alone time. His peace barely lasted for 5 minutes before Eren interrupted his thoughts.

"Levi, I'm getting bored of drawing all day. Can we do something fun today?"

Levi sighed and put his magazine down. "Like what?"

"I don't know, we could watch TV or something" Eren tried.

Levi sighed again, but nodded, heading over to the couch. There was no point in making Eren continue drawing if he wasn't in the mood. Good art came from focus and concentration, not bored, half-assed sketching.

Levi sat down on the couch, a safe distance from Eren, but the boy had other plans. He scooted closer to Levi until their legs were touching. Levi couldn't help but appreciate the feeling that came from sitting close to someone, so he didn't object.

Eren grabbed the remote and looked through the guide, brow furrowed. Suddenly, his eyes lit up.

"They're showing She's the Man! That movie is so great; let's watch it." Eren suggested. Levi just grunted. He was never a big fan of romantic comedies, but he could tolerate them. He also wasn't feeling peppy enough to argue with Eren, so he let it be.

Within minutes, Eren was smiling and giggling at the movie. His laugh was so pure and innocent that it made Levi's heart clench with some foreign feeling. He redirected his attention to the movie to get his mind off it.

"This is so shitty. She's dressed up as a guy, but she looks nothing like one! How the hell are we supposed to take this seriously?" Levi complained. He then proceeded to point out flaws and inconsistencies every few minutes

"Seriously, this is an insult to Shakespeare! What shitface wrote this crap?!" Levi sputtered, his face red. At this, Eren doubled over in laughter.

"What are you laughing about?" Levi demanded.

"I-I," Eren wheezed as he tried to control himself. "You're getting so angry about a movie and ranting like that. It's hilarious." he explained. Levi folded his arms over his chest and scowled.

"It's not my fault the movie is that bad." He looked like a whiny toddler that just had a temper tantrum.

"Levi, you're so cute." Eren said, smiling mischievously.

Levi's eyes widened and his nostrils flared in anger. "Did you just call me cute?!" he yelled and then lunged for Eren. But the boy was prepared for this attack and he swiftly moved out of the way and jumped on top of Levi, effectively pinning him to the couch.

Levi's eyes widened in horror as he realized he couldn't budge. Eren's hold on him was surprisingly strong. Above him, Eren smiled sadistically, a mad glint in his eyes. If Eren intended to have sex, Levi couldn't take it. Not like this; not when he was on the bottom. He looked around frantically. There had to be some way to escape.

But then Eren did something that was arguably worse than fucking Levi. Eren tickled Levi. His fingers were all over Levi's back and stomach. He was tickling the hell out of the man. Loud, screeching laughter escaped from Levi's lips and he panted heavily. His face was flushed pink and he swatted desperately at Eren's hands as his body was overcome by spasms.

"No… s-s-stop," he got out between laughs and pants. "It.. it hurts.. too good." As Levi continued to laugh uncontrollably, tears began leaking from his eyes. "Please… stop" he gasped. "I'm g-going to die."

Eren abruptly ended his assault and collapsed next to Levi who was still squirming and writhing around. Tickling was surprisingly exhausting work, and Eren needed to recuperate. He snuggled up against Levi and rested his head against the man's chest.

"I am going to kill you." Levi whispered, finally recovering. But as he felt the warmth of Eren's body against his and the soft brown hair that brushed the underside of his chin, he couldn't bring himself to care. He wrapped his arms around the boy and breathed in the momentary bliss.

It wasn't long before Levi stood up and dusted himself off. Eren sighed. He knew Levi would get up shortly. Cuddling with the man was too good to be true.

"Alright, playtime's over brat. Time to get back to work."

"But Levi, can't we just take the day off? It's not like you have anything better to do. Come to think of it, I'm here all day, every day, and you never have to go anywhere. Don't you have any friends?" Eren inquired.

"I have so many admirers. I don't need friends." Levi snapped. Eren wanted to know more, but Levi's response told him not to pry. As Eren glanced out the window, something caught his eye.

"What are you looking at, brat?"

"Levi… you had a swimming pool this whole time, and you never told me?"

"Why would I tell you? I'm teaching you art, the pool is irrelevant." Levi reasoned.

"I don't care. We're going swimming today!" Eren yelled before running away without another word.

By the time Levi reached the pool, Eren had already stripped down to his boxers. His frame was lean and well-built. Sunlight danced on his tan skin, illuminating it with a golden hue. Levi felt a bit embarrassed as he stripped off his own clothes, revealing his pale skin.

But Eren was drawn to him. Wordlessly, he walked up to Levi and reached out his hand, running it down Levi's pale but muscled abs.

"You're absolutely beautiful Levi. You and I, we're like the sun and the moon."

Levi closed his eyes and leaned into Eren's touch. "The sun and moon are never out at the same time. They aren't destined to be together." Levi said, his voice barely a whisper. He hesitated before reluctantly turning and diving into the water.

But Eren wouldn't let him go that easily. He quickly followed suit and dove into the pool, swimming up to Levi and pushing him against the pool wall.

"So what if they aren't destined to be together? Why should we succumb to our destiny?" he growled before moving closer to Levi.

Eren's lips brushed against Levi's as he spoke, his voice pleading but resolute, "Let me be your sun. Let me give you the light you've been searching for."

Levi responded by flipping their positions so he had Eren against the wall and pressing his mouth against Eren's feverishly. Eren wrapped his arms around Levi, pressing them as close together as possible without cutting off breathing.

Levi attacked the boy's soft red lips with fervor, wanting to memorize the feeling of them as he bit down on them and the pleasure of Eren's tongue moving with his. Wanting to drown in Eren's warmth and never forget the feeling of Eren's bare wet chest flush against his own.

As his hands roamed down Levi's back, Eren looked into the man's eyes. But this time, they weren't hazy with black lust. Instead they shone brightly with something Eren couldn't quite put his finger on. As their kiss intensified, the steely eyes began to shine even more vividly. Looking into Levi's eyes was like seeing the sun emerge from behind the stormy gray clouds that usually resided in the man's orbs.

And that's when Eren realized that what he saw in Levi's eyes, was hope.

***

Levi was lying in bed hours later, alone. It had taken all of his self-control to leave the make-out session in the pool and prevent it from becoming something more, something both of them would regret. It was so hard to resist him, so hard to say no to Eren and his fierce determination. Eren, with his always happy and eager attitude made Levi feel full of life, like he could take on the world.

And that was dangerous. Because it meant Levi was getting attached. Levi was allowing someone to break through the walls he had so carefully constructed around himself. Ever since the day he had lost his parents and everything he knew and loved, Levi had sworn never to love again. He built himself up to be firm and unwavering, cold and impenetrable. This was why he had no friends. Why he pushed Hanji and Erwin away for years until they eventually gave up on him.

Levi was just like a portrait. From afar, an ideal, composite image of beauty and perfection with no shortage of admirers. But up close, a collection of scattered lines and edges that formed no image, nothing at all. Empty. Levi was empty. And he liked it that way.

But then came Eren with his smile that could light up the world, and his passion, his intense fire that could set the world ablaze. And when Eren looked at Levi with his warm, hypnotic, turquoise eyes, Levi felt his walls cracking. And he feared that one day they would tumble down.

Eren was a drug that had seeped into every corner of Levi's mind and body. And Levi was addicted, for better or for worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone that loves "She's the Man", don't take Levi's comments to heart. I love that movie too :D. Levi is just a dork with ridiculously high standards.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to those that celebrate it!

A few days after the swimming pool incident, Levi heard a knock at his door. Eren had already gone home for the day. So who could it be? Levi never had uninvited visitors.

So it was with a bit of hesitance that Levi opened the door a crack and peered out. He was greeted by a pair of glasses and a nose that had shoved its way into the door crack to peer back at him. Levi sighed and opened the door all the way to reveal Hanji Zoe standing at his doorstep with a grin on her face.

"Hanji. What brings you here after five years of no contact with me?"

"Oh Levi, you haven't changed at all. Aren't you going to let me come in?"

Levi stepped away from the doorway and Hanji flounced in as if it were her own house. She made her way to the kitchen and Levi followed her, deciding to make some tea for the two of them.

"It has been quite a while since we talked. 5 years since the last time I tried to make you a likable human being." Hanji said as she sat down at the counter. Levi snorted at this but didn't respond, continuing to make tea with his back towards Hanji.

Hanji, gathering that Levi wasn't going to respond, continued, "It seems someone else has finally made it into your heart though."

Levi stiffened and whirled around to face Hanji. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I found a picture on the internet. You kissing some hot kid. Apparently he's your boyfriend, so I came here to find out if that's really true."

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose as he sat down, trying to relax. He had never imagined that pictures of him and Eren from the party would make it to the internet. After all, Levi was just an artist, not some famous movie star with constant paparazzi problems.

"So, you have a boyfriend and you didn't care to tell me?" Hanji pried.

"He's not my boyfriend." Levi snapped.

"Oh, so you weren't kissing him and what I saw was just Photoshop." Hanji replied with biting sarcasm.

"Look. He's just a student."

"Since when do you teach?"

"I wanted a change of pace, okay? I wanted to take on a new type of endeavor, and teaching someone seemed to be the right way to go."

"May I ask why you were kissing your student?"

Levi sighed, knowing Hanji wouldn't give up. There was no use trying to fight it.

"I showed him around Paris since it's his first time here. We went to an evening party and some girls started giving him unwanted attention. So I told them he was my boyfriend to get them to lay off, and I kissed him. That's it."

"Already getting jealous and possessive, are we?" Hanji asked, smiling slightly.

"I was just trying to protect my student! Stop accusing me shitty glasses!" Levi yelled.

"Well how do you know it was unwanted attention? For all we know, your student could have been interested in those girls too." Hanji replied, trying to push Levi to his limit.

"NO!" Levi shouted, and Hanji raised an eyebrow in interest. 'He wants me, only me.' Levi wanted to scream. But he wouldn't say it aloud and give Hanji the pleasure of knowing she was right, that Levi was possessive of Eren, that he wanted Eren all to himself.

Instead, he took a few moments to calm down before saying, "I don't think he was interested in them. They seemed to be rough with him. I just had to keep him safe. Besides, you can kiss someone and it doesn't have to mean anything." Levi told her.

Hanji simply took a sip of her tea to hide her smile. Levi could deny it as much as he wanted, both to her and to himself. But Hanji knew the truth. She could see it in Levi's eyes, the burning desire. Levi had never been good at resisting his lust. Hanji guessed he had probably kissed the boy on other occasions as well, and was choosing not to disclose this. But there was something else Hanji saw in Levi's eyes: a soft affection. And she knew it was only a matter of time before Levi came out of denial and faced his feelings.

"Well, I guess I'll be going" she said cheerfully.

"Good. I won't ask you to stay." was Levi's only response as he showed her to the door.

***

The next day, Eren shoved his hands in his coat pockets as he made the walk to Levi's home. It was surprisingly chilly today and Eren wore a beanie. His cheeks were rosy which made him look especially cute, and sure enough, he got a few whistles from strangers that walked by.

Eren sighed. He didn't want strangers to look at him; he wanted Levi to look at him. But the man had been removed and distant ever since the swimming pool incident. He didn't take a single opportunity to show some intimacy, and Eren didn't push him. He figured they both needed some space, but enough was enough. Eren couldn't wait any longer. He decided he would do something about it today.

So when Eren reached Levi's home and sat down at his desk, instead of starting to draw right away, he turned to Levi.

"You know, I've learned a lot from you. I've become great at drawing all kinds of portraits. But there's still something more I want to learn from you."

Levi smirked. "And what would that be, brat?"

"I want to watch you while you draw something."

"What do you want me to draw?"

"Me." Eren hesitated nervously before continuing, "I don't mean to go all Titanic on you, but I want you to do a nude portrait of me."

Levi's eyes sparked and widened with interest. The brat. That fucking brat. He was doing this on purpose to see how long Levi could last drawing Eren like that. He thought Levi wouldn't be able to resist him. But Levi wasn't one to back down from a challenge. After all, he had done quite a few nude portraits. Why should Eren be any different?

So he told Eren, "It has been some time since I last did a full body portrait. So I accept your offer." He then proceeded to take off his shirt which caused Eren quite the confusion.

"Why are you taking off your shirt? I'm the one you're going to draw."

"If I'm shirtless, it'll put you at ease. You'll feel less uncomfortable. Because I don't want my subject to be shy. I want him to bold and fiery. So you can start stripping now." Levi replied.

Eren began removing his clothing layers, one by one. When he was finally down to his boxers, he hesitated. With a sharp intake of air, he took them off swiftly, revealing himself in his fully naked glory. Levi's eyes raked up and down Eren's body before stopping at his "special area."

"You're well-endowed. Quite long." Levi said approvingly. Eren blushed furiously and felt himself getting hard under Levi's piercing gaze.

Levi simply smirked. "Hmm, getting hard just from me staring at you? You act so confident and fearless in your advances towards me, but I guess you are just a kid."

At this Eren was indignant. "I am not some virgin child, okay? I have experience!" But he really wasn't sure what to do about his semi-hard member that showed no signs of fixing itself.

"Let me help you" said Levi softly as he walked closer to Eren who gulped nervously. Was this really the right time for a sexual favor? How else was Levi going to help him?

Levi ran his hands down Eren's torso, stopping right before they reached his lower zone. He ran his fingers over Eren's hipbones and reached one hand up to lightly draw circles around Eren's belly button. Then both of Levi's hands traveled up Eren's chest and ghosted over his pert nipples, causing his breath to hitch. Levi loved that sound; he savored it. He let his hands trail over the muscles of Eren's arms and then he turned so he was facing the boy's back. He began to massage the base of Eren's neck soothingly,

eliminating all of the nervous tension that had built up there. Surprisingly enough, Eren felt his erection die down until he was no longer hard.

Levi wrapped his arms around Eren from behind and spoke against his back, his cool breath sending tingles down the boy's spine. "Now you're relaxed, and I know the contours of your body. My drawing can now do justice to the detailed perfection of your body."

And then Levi led Eren to a couch and arranged him into a pose. Eren's back was against the couch and he rested his arm on one of his knees that was propped up. His private area was very much exposed, but Eren felt comfortable in Levi's calming presence.

Levi began to draw. Eren's position was such that he became bathed in sunlight and glowed golden. Eren tried to keep himself still like a good model would be, but truthfully he had never done this before and it was hard not to fidget. Levi drew quietly, glancing up at Eren occasionally before continuing his work.

Eren watched Levi draw, fascinated. He watched as Levi's brows would slant slightly in concentration, or a small smile would tug at his lips. Levi's face was so serene and peaceful, devoid of all pain and coldness that had accumulated there over the years.

This was what it meant to love something wholeheartedly. Despite everything Levi had went through in life, art still managed to put him in such blissful oblivion. Hours passed and neither of them noticed. Eren's mouth felt dry and parched, but he couldn't care less. Both of them had forgotten about lunch, lost in the silence that was interrupted only by the scratching of Levi's pencil against canvas.

Around evening, Levi set down his pencil and sat in silence, studying his finished portrait. Eren decided it was alright for him to get up and look at Levi's creation.

What he saw stunned him. Beauty. Sheer beauty. On the canvas was an Adonis, a creature too gorgeous to be of this world. Where Eren thought he was too scrawny, Levi had drawn a full figure. Where Eren thought he had blemishes, Levi had created beautiful, flawless skin. Levi was known for creating portraits that looked exactly like the subject being drawn. So why did this portrait look so different, so godly?

"Levi, it's amazing. But… I'm not that magnificent. It's not real." Eren said softly.

Levi took a deep breath before responding. "It is real. This portrait is real because this is how I see you. To me, you are the most magnificent and beautiful person of all. You are the sun when I am shrouded in darkness. You light a fire in me Eren."

"Levi.. I-" Eren began but was silenced when Levi looked at him with piercing eyes that made Eren's heart stop. Eren had never seen Levi like this. His eyes were so warm and full, dripping with emotion. And something primal hovered in them.

"Eren. I can't deny you anymore. Not after seeing you in such an exposed state. You did that for me, and now I can't push you away." Levi said calmly.

Eren took a step forward and within seconds, Levi's lips were on his own. And Eren was being devoured, devoured by the pent up hunger that was now raging inside of Levi. Eren found himself grasping at Levi, trying to find something tangible to confirm that this was reality and not just some beautiful dream.

Eren clawed his fingers into Levi's hair and pulled the man closer. He moved his lips against Levi's and delved his tongue deep into the man's mouth. Somehow, in the haze of clashing teeth and battling tongues, Levi's boxers came off and they stumbled their way up the stairs and into Levi's bedroom, never unlocking their lips.

Levi pushed Eren on to the bed and they continued kissing as if their lives depended on it. As if separating would be like running out of oxygen supply. Levi began grinding his hips against Eren, revealing how hard he was now. Eren moaned as he felt Levi's hot, slick cock rubbing against his own.

He finally took the liberty of breaking the kiss and latching on to Levi's neck, biting and marking him as his own.

Levi growled at the pain of the sudden bite and responded by closing his mouth around one of Eren's nipples and sucking furiously. Eren's breath hitched and this spurred Levi on, giving the same treatment to the other nipple.

"C'mere" Eren said huskily, his voice low and so very seductive. Levi moved back up to face Eren who claimed his lips in another deep, wrenching kiss. Eren found Levi's cock and yanked it into his hand, stroking it roughly, mercilessly. Levi panted and moaned into Eren's mouth.

"You weren't lying when you said you had experience." Levi noted as he was overcome with ecstasy.

Eren responded by grunting and increasing the pace of his hand until Levi had to reach down and stop him.

"I don't want release just yet. This is my time to worship your body." Levi whispered as he peppered kisses down Eren's abdomen until he reached Eren's hard, glistening member. Levi blew on it and Eren's entire body was racked by shivers. And then, without any warning, Levi engulfed Eren's entire length in his mouth. Eren gasped and his body arched up as his hips began to thrust slightly. Eren saw Levi smirk and bob up and down Eren's length, leaving trails of saliva in his wake.

The knowledge that Levi's beautiful lips were wrapped around his throbbing cock coupled with the hot, magical feeling of being sucked off by someone this skilled was enough for Eren to orgasm with a sharp cry.

Levi swallowed every drop.

Eren was sure Levi would begin to prepare him for penetration now, so he lifted his legs up, giving Levi easy access to his hole. But Levi shook his head. He leaned down on Eren so his lips hovered by the boy's ear.

"I want you to take me. Take me to paradise and make me forget everything that troubles me. Make me yours and only yours." Levi whispered.

Eren's eyes widened in surprise. "Levi, are you sure?"

"This is an order." Levi stated before lying down on his back on the bed. This was all Eren needed to hear. Without another thought, he moved on top of Levi and kissed him, savoring the taste of himself on Levi's tongue.

Eren then straddled Levi's hips and began to suck his fingers tantalizingly. He entered one finger into Levi moved it slightly before adding a second and third. Levi jerked and Eren wondered if that was too much. But he felt Levi relax around his fingers so he took out his fingers and pushed the head of his cock into Levi's hole. When Levi nodded, Eren pushed all the way in and marveled at how wonderfully tight the man was.

Levi winced but didn't indicate any other pain. "Move" he told Eren, who did just that. Eren thrust in and out, slowly at first, but it wasn't long before his pace was rapid and incredibly intense. Levi jerked his hips to meet Eren's thrusts and groaned as his prostate was hit time after time.

Eren's face was a sight to behold. His hair was splayed out every which way and his cheeks were flushed crimson. His eyes were fiery and dominating. Eren lifted Levi's legs up and over his shoulders and then increased his pace relentlessly.

Levi was blinded with the overwhelming pleasure that was only magnified when Eren reached his hands towards Levi's and interlaced their fingers. And then Eren pressed his lips against Levi's in such a gentle and sweet way that Levi felt all of his walls crash down.

Release hit both of them at the same time and Eren withdrew carefully. But as he looked down at Levi, something was wrong. The man's face was wet, but not with sweat. Levi was crying. And Eren couldn't help but admire how beautiful Levi looked like this. So vulnerable, his lips quivering as he tried to keep up the stoic facade.

And then Levi, tears still streaming down his face, said words that made Eren freeze to the spot.

"Eren. I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a song in mind during the scene when Levi gets ready to draw Eren, and here's a link to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSLalNo6hoI
> 
> Your support is much appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the morning after comes a lot of reflection on Eren's part.

Eren awoke with a start, wondering how his bed was suddenly so big. Then he saw Levi sleeping next to him and realized he wasn’t in his apartment. He had spent the night in Levi’s bed, something he had fantasized about for weeks.

Memories of last night flooded through him, but instead of feeling pleasure, Eren felt a strange uneasiness.

Levi had confessed his love last night. And Eren just sat there, unable to respond. He had tried to formulate words, tried to make his mouth say, “I love you too, Levi.” But he couldn’t. He couldn’t make himself say words that weren’t true. And he remembered feeling his heart wrench as a look of confusion and hurt passed through Levi’s face.

But it couldn’t be helped. Because Eren didn’t love Levi; not yet at least. For Eren, Levi had been a treasure hunt, something Eren would follow until he found the treasure. Eren had pursued Levi doggedly for so long, stopping at nothing until Levi was his. But now that Levi had given himself entirely to Eren, there was nothing left to pursue and no treasure left to find. There was nothing to keep Eren busy, to distract him. Nothing to stop him from remembering the one person he wanted to forget.

Mikasa.

Mikasa and her expressive eyes that had stolen Eren’s heart from the moment he saw her. Mikasa and her tingling laugh that was like music to Eren’s ears. Mikasa and her slender frame that Eren loved to hold in his arms. Stupid Mikasa and her perfect everything. 

Eren met Mikasa in high school the year she was a new student. Eren had always been quite popular. His charming personality and effortless good looks attracted people to him like he was a magnet. And Eren would flirt with all the blushing teens and hang with all the “bros.” But when it really came down to it, his only real friend was Armin.

And then Mikasa came along, and for the first time in his life, Eren felt his heart pounding. Eren, the best flirt in the school, was nervous to talk to a girl. It was something about her, how she seemed so serious. She was confident, and it showed in her every mannerism. She didn’t even try, and she was above everybody else.

But this was love at first sight and Eren knew it. He could feel in his core that it would be wrong to resist this attraction. So he calmed his nerves and decided to go at Mikasa like he would any other girl: with one of his pickup lines. Nobody ever took the pickup lines seriously, but they were great for easing tension and getting the other person to laugh.

He strode up to her locker and extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Eren. What’s your name?”

She turned to face him. “I’m Mikasa.”

Eren decided now was as good a time as any and so he said, “I don’t know how I’ll ever get to class on time when it’s so easy to get lost in your eyes.”

He expected a laugh, maybe even a blush. He got none of that. Mikasa just sighed and rolled her eyes. Eren was flabbergasted. Nobody had ever reacted to him that way! Eren just stood there with his mouth open trying to get over this dent in his ego. After seeing Eren’s shocked face, Mikasa couldn’t help but smile slightly and her eyes twinkled.

“Sorry hun, but you’re going to have to try harder than that.” she said and brushed past him down the hallway.

And so the chase was on. Mikasa quickly became a part of Eren’s friend group, giving him all the more opportunity to talk to her. He would go to her locker and say something sweet, and eventually she stopped avoiding him and let him walk her to class. They became comfortable, playful even as they talked more and more each day. They found out that they had quite a bit in common. Both of them had parents that were so busy with work they were hardly ever home. Neither of them had siblings. They were both lonely and needed love, friendship, affection, anything to fill the void. 

And that’s when they realized they were perfect for each other, cheesy as it was. The chase had been glorious, full of smiles, flirting, and denial. But the ensuing relationship was even better than the chase, because it was meant to be. They had fun doing the smallest things together. Mikasa helped Eren develop better study habits, sometimes enlisting the help of Armin, and Eren dragged her along to art exhibitions.

Eren smiled as he remembered their first kiss outside with the snow falling around them. They had been having a snowball fight with their friends, and Mikasa tackled Eren. But somehow she ended up in his arms and it was the perfect moment for a kiss. It had been tender, sweet and pure, nothing like the hot, fiery, blinding passion Eren had with Levi.

Because Eren and Mikasa were just kids. They didn’t have any rage or anger to fuel angsty passion. They were high schoolers that had fallen deeply in love. And so when Eren, Armin, and Mikasa all got into Brown University, there was no doubt in anybody’s mind that all three of them would go there together. Eren and Mikasa both thought they were going to get married when they were older. It surprised everyone that Eren was absolutely committed to one person. He had always been flighty, messing around with no strings attached. But Mikasa had brought out the best in him.

People compared them to Romeo and Juliet and this made Eren mad. Romeo and Juliet were just two teenagers that mistook lust for love and got blinded in their immaturity.

Eren and Mikasa had attraction and chemistry, yes. But their relationship was more than just that. They each had a need for the other; they completed each other. They had trust, not lust, as a foundation for their love.

And so when that trust was broken, everything was shattered and there was absolutely no room for forgiveness. 

It happened during their second year of college, about 4 months ago. Eren had been walking down campus, and the day had been like any other day. Eren ate breakfast with his roommates Jean and Armin, and then he headed out to class. He smiled at the bustle of students and college life that he was now a part of. He smelled the aroma of street side food carts and nearby restaurants. Everything just felt so right.

And then Eren saw something that made his heart stop. In the corner of the street, he saw Mikasa. But Mikasa, his Mikasa, was kissing another man, and that man’s hand was inside her jeans.

For what seemed like an eternity, Eren just stood there, watching the girl he loved kiss another man and let him touch her the way she was supposed to with Eren and nobody else. And in that moment, all trust in their relationship collapsed into a heap of rubble.

After overcoming from the initial shock, Eren took a picture of the sight in front of him, as proof of Mikasa’s betrayal.

***

Eren waited for Mikasa that same afternoon at the spot where they usually met up after classes.

“Eren!” Mikasa shouted as she spotted him, running to him for a hug. Eren hugged her back, knowing this could be the last time he would ever do that.

“How was your day?” Eren asked her, his eyes devoid of the warmth they usually held.

“It was great! Classes were super interesting today and I don’t have much work to do tonight.” she replied.

“You seemed to have fun today. What is this?” Eren asked calmly, holding up his phone to show the picture to Mikasa whose eyes widened.

She looked at him in shock. “How did you..” she began.

“It’s extremely hard for me to control my anger right now, but I will try my best to be the civil one here. Mikasa, you’ve betrayed me. You are a cheat, and I was a fool to trust you.” Eren stated.

“Eren, I.. let me explain” Mikasa tried.

“You won’t say a word. You’ve done enough damage already! After all we’ve been through, this is what you give me?” Eren paused, breathing heavily and struggling to collect his thoughts. How he managed to control his rage was a marvel, because everyone knew that Eren was hot-headed, and when he got mad, there was no telling what he could do.

“Eren, please listen to me! You have to let me say something!” Mikasa cried.

Eren was on the verge of shouting now. “You know what, it doesn’t matter anymore anyway. Because we’re through Mikasa. I’m breaking up with you.” Eren said and walked away, leaving Mikasa to fall to the pavement on her knees and break out in sobs.

After that, Eren never even spared a glance in Mikasa’s direction. All of their friends insisted that Eren at least hear her out and maintain friendship with her. But Eren would not listen to Mikasa or give her a second chance, because there was no point in rekindling a relationship that could never be the same again.

Eventually, Eren got fed up of everybody acting as if the break up was his fault and not Mikasa’s even though she was the one who cheated. It had been 4 months, but nobody had gotten over the break up. So Eren took the summer as an opportunity to get away from everything and he fled to France. Art had always been healing for him, so what better way to get past everything than to learn art from a master?

It just so happened that Eren’s teacher ended up being Levi, the most attractive person Eren had ever seen in his entire life. And somehow, when Eren was with Levi, he forgot his pain. He didn’t remember Mikasa because Levi had such a commanding presence that he took all of Eren’s attention. Levi was interesting, smart, cool, and intimidating. And that kept Eren in line.

And so Levi became the perfect distraction, and Eren went on a mission to get Levi to do more than just kiss Eren. The seduction, the hot encounters, the sizzling chemistry, the slightly taboo age difference, all of it made Eren feel grown up and desirable. 

But now Eren felt filthy, absolutely despicable. He had played with Levi. He used Levi like a toy, a way to get his mind off other things. Maybe somewhere, he had hoped that if he could fall in love with Levi, he would finally be able to get past Mikasa and enjoy life to the fullest again.

But Levi’s touch, being so intimate with Levi made Eren realize the truth that he had been avoiding all along. He could never fall in love again. He would never be able to forget her, his first love. He would live his whole life remembering a young love and days he could never get back.

Beside him, Levi sighed softly in his sleep and Eren stiffened. Levi looked so calm and beautiful. Eren felt like he was looking at an innocent child, so blissfully lost in the lull of sleep, unaware of all the troubles unfolding outside. A pang of guilt washed through Eren’s heart.

Levi had let Eren take him. Levi had given his body and his soul to Eren and trusted him with it. Levi, who had lost everything at such an early age and carefully built himself back up, had let Eren inside his walls. He had exposed himself, opened himself up to Eren, given his heart to Eren. And Eren had hurt him so much, hurt him beyond repair.. Eren would just become another reminder to Levi that love is painful. Because the pain of loving someone and receiving nothing in return would be enough to break Levi once again.

But Eren didn’t want to hurt Levi anymore. He didn’t think he could live with himself if he did. So he slipped out of the bed and quietly put on his clothes. He tiptoed out of the grand bedroom and down the stairs. Eren would leave Levi before the man could get any more attached. He would leave before any more damage could be done.

Eren collected his belongings and surveyed the place he’d come to think of as home one last time, sighing in defeat. He reached the door and was just about to open it when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Eren turned around to see Levi looking up at him with a knowing look in his eye.

“Eren. You may not feel anything for me. But I am in love with you. And I’m not about to let you go so easily.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Eren. You may not feel anything for me. But I am in love with you. And I’m not about to let you go so easily.” Levi told Eren, his voice firm and unwavering.

“Levi, it’s not that I don’t feel anything. I just don’t feel enough. Dammit I don’t even know what I feel!” Eren replied, his obvious distress apparent.

“Look Eren, I don’t know what’s going on in your mind right now. But I do know that you are in a dilemma. And running away from me isn’t going to help.”

“I wasn’t running away!” Eren said indignantly. And then his voice softened to a quiet murmur. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

Levi scoffed at this and his lips molded into his signature smirk. “You really think a little brat like yourself could hurt me? The fact that I love you doesn’t make me vulnerable you know.”

But Eren saw through this display of strength and superiority. He knew that inside, Levi was scared. Levi was scared of losing Eren because of reasons that were out of his control. So he pretended to be apathetic and uncaring, as if Eren couldn’t affect his state of mind.

They stood there in silence for a few moments, staring at each other, both with a hint of unmistakable anger in their eyes. Levi had long removed his hand from Eren’s shoulder and now they both stood with their arms rigidly at their sides, neither of them daring to close the gap that existed between them like an impenetrable magnetic field.

Finally, Levi broke the silence and walked past Eren to the door. “Grab your coat and come with me to the car.” he said curtly, and Eren knew not to question this order.

***

Levi drove for hours, Paris long left behind. Eren watched as the scenery around him changed from city to rural landscape and back again as they drove on and on.

Eren jolted as the car shook and swerved dangerously. Levi was driving recklessly, taking out his anger and frustration on the road. They were going way past the speed limit, but the rest of the world didn’t seem to care. The scenery became a blur as they moved faster still.

The car ride was absolutely silent. It was understood that all explaining that needed to be done would happen once they reached their destination. And something between Eren and Levi had changed since they had sex. Instead of becoming more comfortable with each other and their bodies, the two had become removed and uncertain; hesitant to touch each other and talk to each other.

And it was mostly Eren’s fault for being unable to reciprocate Levi’s feelings.

They drove into a clearing and the car came to a stop with a screech. Eren stumbled out of the car and ran forward to behold the sight in front of him.

It was absolutely breathtaking. They were on a cliff overlooking the ocean that lapped at the shoreline miles below. Looking down from the cliff was like swimming into an endless abyss.

Levi walked up to Eren quietly, and the boy turned to face him. His eyes that had been so dull this morning were now sparkling with a light fire. Eren was once again radiating enthusiasm after seeing the pure beauty of nature.

“Where are we?” he asked Levi.

“We’re in a town called Étretat on the northwest shore of France. It’s known for its cliffs.”

“Why did you bring me here?”

“To think.” Levi replied.

He then proceeded to sit down on the edge of the cliff with his legs dangling over the edge, and Eren joined him, sitting with a little distance from the man. He gazed in unabashed awe at the rocky shore below him and the sea that extended far beyond the horizon.

They sat silently listening to the waves crash against the cliff and the leaves rustle in the breeze. And then Eren spoke.

“It would be so easy to jump off and let the water take me under. Or to jump off and sprout wings of freedom and just fly away to a place without all these stupid problems.” Eren said thoughtfully, his voice sad and almost hopeless.

Levi laughed bitterly. “I’m ashamed of you. Talking about giving up. Of all the people who would say something like that, I’d never expect you to, Eren.”

“Well, my friends do call me the suicidal bastard.” Eren replied, his voice dark.

“But they call you that for the exact opposite reasons of what you’re thinking. They call you that because you never give up. You’re fearless. You’re so determined to get what you want that you’ll even face death if it means doing what you need to. You’re admirable, you’re strong. You’re not some weakling that would give up on life just because you’re confused about love. That’s not the Eren I know.” As Levi said this, his face was calm, but his voice was laced with a sense of urgency.

Eren sighed. “Sometimes it’s hard to be zealous and determined all the time. Especially when my actions are causing pain for others.”

Levi smiled slightly, a rare occurrence. “That zeal and determination is what I fell in love with. Before I met you, I had it all. Fame, money, fans, and getting sex would be a piece of cake if I ever wanted it. But I was lonely, empty. I was going through the motions and not really living. Ever since the death of my parents, I closed myself off and never really loved, never really smiled.”

Levi paused, lost in his own memories before he continued. “But then I met you. And you were always so happy and eager to learn and to live. And you were so determined to do things right to draw right, never quitting until you had absolutely done your best. You were like the sun, shining so brightly. And you made me shine too. Your attitude was contagious, and I became addicted to you.. to being with you. I knew that the world was cruel, but you showed me that it is also very beautiful. You’ve only given me joy, Eren. Not pain.”

Eren scooted closer to Levi and placed his hand on the man’s. “You see so much in me. I don’t deserve you Levi.”

“There’s no such thing as being worthy or unworthy. You deserve whatever you think you deserve. I know you’re confused right now, and you have problems to sort out. But I think that living with the confusion and facing it head on will be more helpful to you than running away from it.” Levi reasoned.

“Either way, you can’t know for sure what the outcome will be. So choose for yourself whichever decision you’ll regret least.” After saying this, Levi stood up and began dusting himself off.

“The choice is yours Eren. Leave me, or stay with me and see if you can figure out your feelings. I’m going home.”

***

Eren laid back on the ground and stared at the sky. Levi had left a while ago and Eren was just now realizing that he would need a taxi or a train of some sort to get back to Paris.

Levi’s words echoed in his mind. “Leave me, or stay with me.”

If the circumstances had been different, Eren would obviously have stayed until the end of summer to keep taking lessons from Levi. But now that love and lust were involved, things were a bit more complicated.

Eren needed to talk to someone about his situation, somebody that knew him his whole life. And Armin seemed like the best choice.

He reached lazily for his phone and dialed his friend’s number. After a few rings, Armin picked up the phone.

“Eren? How are you?” Armin asked, a little surprised at the phone call since it had been a while since they last talked.

“I’m… fine I guess.”

“Eren, what do you need to tell me? Just spit it out.”

“Armin, I slept with Levi.”

“...Oh” was Armin’s only response. A few seconds later he added, “What are you feelings about it?”

“At first I felt terrible. It was painful. The intimacy reminded me too much of Mikasa. I was ready to leave to avoid making things too difficult and damaging. But then Levi and I just talked about stuff. And I felt so relaxed, so loved. It’s making me more and more confused.”

“Eren,” Armin said softly, and Eren could almost see the blonde boy smiling. “There’s nothing wrong with falling in love with Levi. But there’s also nothing wrong with at least listening to what Mikasa has to say. Take your time. I think you just need to wait and see what happens.”

“Yeah. I think so too.” Eren said, and marvelled at how Armin always knew what to say.

***

Eren ended up calling a taxi and realizing he didn’t have enough money to pay the fare. Then he walked into town and tried to find out if there was a train going all the way to Paris. But the fact that he knew absolutely no French didn’t really help his case. 

Of course Levi would do something like leave Eren alone to fend for himself in some remote town, far away from where all of his stuff was. He tried calling Levi, but nobody picked up. Was this some sort of test? Or maybe it was a way of getting revenge, although Levi seemed too mature for something like that.

Eren walked around the town aimlessly until eventually, an elderly man who was driving to Paris anyway took pity on Eren and took him along. It was awkward to say the least, because the man kept on giving questioning looks as to why Eren was all alone hanging out by the cliffs with no way to get anywhere.

But the man ended up being quite nice and he even taught Eren some basic French that Levi had never worried about teaching him. Eren’s pronunciation was horrid, but he could at least say “Bonjour” like a good French person would.

Eren had given the man directions to his destination, and when they pulled up in front of Levi’s mansion, the man was surprised.

“You live here? With the artist Levi?”

Eren was unsure of how to respond. “Uh, I don’t really live here, well, sort of, I guess.”

The man smiled knowingly. “It makes sense. You are very handsome; you even rival Levi’s own beauty. Of course, Levi would settle for nothing less than perfection in his partner.”

“Oh no, it’s not like that” Eren explained.

“Yes, yes, I’ve heard it all. I can see it in your eyes; it’s love!”

“Ok. I’m going to get out now. Merci beaucoup, monsieur.” Eren said and watched as the man drove off chuckling to himself.

He walked up to the front door and found it to be open. So Levi was expecting Eren. He knew Eren wouldn’t leave just yet. Eren walked in the house and looked around, but he didn’t see any signs of the black-haired man. After roaming around and calling out the man’s name a few times, Eren still found nothing. So he headed upstairs, the only other place Levi could be.

Eren walked into the bedroom, and there was Levi sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but a white cravat tied around his neck and black combat boots. Eren felt himself instantly getting aroused at the sight of the very naked Levi in front of him.

Levi walked up to Eren and placed both of his hand’s on Eren’s chest. “I knew you’d come.” Levi said, his voice almost a purr.

And then they were kissing and Eren felt so pleasantly overwhelmed by the familiar feeling of Levi’s lips on his and everything just felt so good that Eren didn’t even realize what was going on until it was too late. 

Levi had handcuffed him to the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy almost New Year guys!


	8. Chapter 8

“What the fuck Levi?! Why the hell are you handcuffing me?!”

“To restrain you. Why the fuck else?” Levi said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Look Levi, if you’re trying to seduce me into dominance submission stuff, please don’t. As irresistibly hot as you are, I’m not in the right state of mind for this.” Eren pleaded.

“You’ll never be in the right state of mind for this if you keep thinking about that girl of yours.”

Eren’s eyes widened considerably. “H-how do you know about her?”

“I’m perceptive. And you’re just incredibly easy to read. You have an ex, she was your first love that you can’t get over, and being with me feels wrong.”

Eren looked down in annoyance. Screw Levi for always being so smart and so right.

When Eren didn’t say anything, Levi lifted his chin with a finger and glared into those caribbean eyes.

“Well tonight, I’m going to make you forget her, whether you like it or not. Tonight, it’s just you and me. And I’m the boss.” Levi said, and Eren found himself wondering how it was possible for someone to sound so seductive and authoritative all at once.

Eren began panting slightly when Levi pushed his shirt up his torso and ran his fingers around Eren’s nipples. And then Levi straddled Eren and began rubbing ever so slightly against his crotch, causing whatever was left of the boy’s self control to magically disappear. Eren moaned and bucked his hips, wanting more of Levi, more of anything that would relieve his desire.

Levi chuckled, his voice low, and if sex was a sound, that laugh would be it. “Look at you,” he drawled. “You try to tell me no, but all I have to do is touch you and you become a mess. You really are a horny brat aren’t you?”

“Yes… I am.” Eren breathed. He tried to reach up and pull Levi in for a kiss, but the handcuffs clanked loudly and Eren remembered that he couldn’t move his arms.

Eren glared and a passionate anger flashed through his eyes. “Let me out of these stupid handcuffs! They’re ruining everything.” he yelled at Levi.

Levi smiled at this, pleased that his furiously determined brat was back. He’d never expected Eren to fall into submission without a fight, and this was where the fun part came in.

Levi shook his head in mock disappointment before speaking. “Eren, I expect more from you. Are you really disobeying guidelines your teacher, your art master has set down for you?”

Eren was still adamant. “The guidelines you give me as a teacher are different. This is our sex life, and I want to touch you! You aren’t my master here, so take off these handcuffs!”

Levi leaned down so his face was inches apart from Eren’s. “Tonight, I am your master. And you will listen to me. Because I am going to fuck you senseless. I’m going to fuck you so hard, you won’t remember anything but my name.” 

The intensity with which Levi said this was apparently enough to crumble Eren’s resolve, because the boy let out a moan and wrapped his legs around the man’s back, pulling him down close enough to seize his lips in a very open-mouthed kiss.

When they broke apart, Eren’s eyes were blazing. “Ok master, make me yours for the night.” he sneered, and the snark in his tone was very evident. Levi realized with a smirk that Eren was going to be submissive, but he would definitely bite back. Because if there was one thing Eren Jaeger always did, it was fight. And Levi decided this would just make things more interesting, because what fun was dominating someone that was an easy pushover? It was far better to conquer someone feisty, someone that would present a challenge. And tonight, that someone was Eren.

With that, Levi began gyrating his hips and making quite a show of it, letting the dancer within him come out and present itself on Eren’s lap. Low moans escaped from Eren’s red lips and he began rolling his hips with Levi’s.

“Stop that. I did not give you permission to move.” Levi snapped. Eren growled and jerked Levi off his body roughly, but he followed his orders and stopped moving his hips.

Levi, who had fallen to the edge of the bed when Eren flung him off, now approached Eren and grabbed his tousled hair.

“I’ll let that slide, but if you rebel like this again, I may just have to punish you.” Levi whispered threateningly. After a moment of pause, Eren finally nodded and Levi knew he had won the battle for dominance.

“Now, I want you to take this cravat off my neck. It’s starting to bother me.”

At first, Eren was baffled as to how he was expected to do this without hands, but then he grinned mischievously when he realized exactly what Levi had in mind. Eren bit down on the corner of the cravat and used his teeth to slowly, tantalizingly pull it off. He kept his eyes locked with Levi’s the whole time, giving the man a fiery glare. Levi’s face still held its usual, disinterested look, but his eyes glinted with a predatory lust that sent shivers down Eren’s spine.

Once Eren had gotten the cravat out of his mouth, he looked back to Levi, awaiting the man’s next orders.

“Tell me what you want.” Levi stated.

Without a moment’s hesitance, Eren replied. “I want to taste you.”

“And how exactly do you plan to do that, given the position your body is restricted to?”

Eren’s cheeks flushed as he realized what Levi was implying. But he quickly regained his confidence and levelled the man above him with a stare. “If I am to taste you, I guess you’ll have to straddle my head and thrust into my mouth.” Eren said coolly, enjoying the look of pleasure that crossed Levi’s face in response to the image he had created.

Levi wasted no time and got right to doing what Eren just described. He started at an even pace, and sighed as he thrust into those beautiful, plump lips, letting waves of pleasure overcome him. Eren hollowed his cheeks and watched amusedly as Levi’s face contorted from the immense bliss.

Levi was struggling to resist the urge to shamelessly face-fuck Eren into oblivion, so he withdrew suddenly and Eren found himself gasping for breath after the assault. 

Levi then pulled off Eren’s pants and boxers in one go, revealing Eren’s erection. Then Levi got off the bed and stood to the side of the room, picking at his nails with disinterest.

“Why did you just get up? What happened to fucking me senseless?!” Eren yelled, painfully hard and incredibly frustrated.

Levi looked at him in feigned surprise. “Oh, you want me to fuck you?” Levi stalked to the bed and loomed over the chained and furious Eren.

“Well, if you want me, then show it. Prove it. Beg for it.” Levi said, his voice husky with want.

Eren fumed. He was not one to beg for anything. Eren stood tall and proud, and he never followed orders that made him feel beneath someone else. But maybe that was the point. Maybe Levi was the only person in Eren’s life great enough for him to submit to. Maybe Levi was the only person with enough stature to get Eren to swallow his pride.

So Eren looked into Levi’s eyes, but this time, he did not glare. His eyes held only respect for the man above him.

“Levi, I want you. I want you to fuck me. Make me double over with pain and pleasure. I don’t care, just do it. Please, master.”

Levi nodded approvingly and after brief preparation, positioned himself at Eren’s entrance. He thrust in once, slowly, but everything after that was anything but slow. Levi moved rapidly, wildly even, overcome by raging desire and a need to ravish the hell out of the boy below him.

Eren’s screams and shouts rang into the air as his body writhed with what was initially pain, but quickly became pleasure. Levi was merciless, pushing into him relentlessly.

Eren wanted more than anything to hold onto Levi, but he made do with moving his body to meet Levi’s thrusts. Levi leaned down and pressed his mouth to Eren’s in a kiss that was hot, wet, and messy, like everything else that had to do with their relationship.

“You like that?” Levi whispered. “You like what I’m doing to you? You like that I’m the only one that can make you feel this good?”

“Yes, I do.” Eren cried out sharply as Levi bit into his collarbone. Who was Mikasa again? He couldn’t seem to remember. He could only remember “Levi,” the name of the person that was fucking him to heaven.

Both of them were panting heavily now, reaching their breaking points. Levi tugged sharply on Eren’s swollen member and Eren felt himself hit release. Eren could tell Levi had released as well, because the thrusts were now slowing and he felt a warmth pooling inside him.

After catching his breath, Levi stood up and unlocked Eren’s handcuffs, finally setting him free.

“I’m done being your master for the night. Now I’m just Levi, and you’re just Eren.”

Eren regarded the man in silence, processing everything that had just happened.

“Thanks… for that. I needed it.” Eren said after a while.

There was a faint glimmer of a smile on Levi’s face. “You’re welcome.”

***

Armin had his face in an MCAT book, trying desperately to study for his upcoming exam. Unfortunately, his mind was distracted by a certain teal-eyed best friend and his love life, and Armin found studying to be impossible. Usually, Armin was able to push out all distractions when he really needed to study, but right now he was just so stressed and overwhelmed with his never-ending workload, and to top it all off, his best friend’s life was as riveting as a fucking soap opera, the good ones, that is.

Armin was the only one who knew about Eren and Levi. Well, Jean knew that Eren had the hots for Levi when he first reached France, but Armin was the only one who knew how serious they had gotten, to the point where they had even slept together.

Now, Armin would have no objections to Eren and Levi becoming a thing, because honestly, that would be one hot couple. But Armin was also the only one who knew about Mikasa’s truth. That she didn’t really cheat on Eren, and it was all just one big misunderstanding, a bad situation that Mikasa got wrapped up in.

So now Eren had two potential paramours, Levi and Mikasa. And obviously Armin would be partial to rooting for Mikasa, since they were best friends and Armin knew nothing about Levi aside from the fact that he was one sexy piece of… Armin mentally slapped himself for thinking about that. In either case, Armin was confused because on the one hand, he wanted Eren and Mikasa to reconcile, but on the other hand, he felt like it would be better for Eren to move on with Levi.

And what did Armin decide to do about his mounting tensions and confusions? He hit the booze. Armin rarely drank, because when he did, all hell broke loose. But here he was, downing beers like a pro. This was Armin’s first mistake of the night.

It didn’t take much to get Armin drunk, and soon enough, Armin was a drunken mess. Absolutely uninhibited, his usually quiet personality replaced by a loud, boisterous talkative one. He ambled around, making unintelligible thoughts and being everything he wasn’t. Of course, a better way to describe all of this would be, Armin Arlert was totally shitfaced. 

And in this state of drunkenness, Armin somehow thought it would be a good idea to call Annie Leonhart, the girl he had quietly crushed on since freshman year of college, and invite her over to talk. This was Armin’s second mistake of the night. Armin had always been infatuated with Annie. Something about her cold demeanor and the way she ignored him was just so enticing. To Armin’s credit, Annie was a friend of Mikasa’s, and maybe the boy thought she could help him make sense of Eren’s love story.

Surprisingly, Annie actually did come over a short while later, whether out of boredom or concern for drunk Armin, he didn’t know.

“So, what’s up, Armin? You never call me.”

“I just wanted to talk, you know, tell you about how I’m feeling. I need a friend too! I’m always lonely, only books for company. But I have to talk to people too.” Armin rambled.

Annie rolled her eyes and started to get up. Listening to a drunk Armin talk was just a waste of her time. But she stopped and sat back down when she heard Armin’s next words.

“It’s about Eren. He’s got a man now. An artist named Levi. Oh, that guy is just glorious, I’m telling you. Eren sent me a picture, and damn, he’s like, like… hot, like a vampire or something.”

Armin stopped talking and took a moment to think about whether he should continue talking about Levi or not. Eren had warned Armin not to tell anybody about what was going on with him and Levi. 

For one, Levi had paparazzi problems, and if too many people found out about Eren and Levi’s fling, it could cause unwanted attention problems, something they learned the hard way when that picture of them kissing got on the internet. Eren also didn’t want to deal with the college campus finding out that he was bisexual. While it would be pretty well accepted, it was something Eren did not want to think about about at the moment. And finally, if Mikasa found out about Eren and Levi, it would either break her heart beyond repair, or cause her possessive side to come out and claim Eren as her own.

All in all, telling anybody about Eren’s situation was a dumb idea until Eren actually figured out his feelings and what he was going to do about them. But Armin, being drunk, was not his usual sensible self. All sense of reason and rationale was thrown out the window the minute he touched the first beer.

So Armin continued on to tell Annie everything. About how Mikasa didn’t actually cheat, how Eren slept with Levi, how they could possibly fall in love, but Eren still wasn’t over Mikasa. Everything. This was Armin’s third mistake of the night.

Of course, Annie was apathetic as always. “Why are you telling me this? Do you really think I care?”

“Annie, I’m telling you this, because I trust you. Trussssst. You.. you say you don’t care. But you do. And that’s why I trust you. You’ll solve this whole problem!”

And then Armin felt something stir inside of him, and he decided now was the best time. With a new sense of confidence, Armin stood up on his chair and shouted with bravado.

“Annie Leonhart. I LOVE YOU! I always have. Always always always! And you need to love me too. Because I’m Armin the Great! Like Alexander the Great… except my name is Armin. But I’m better than him, because who needs to conquer Asia when you can conquer Annie’s icy heart?”

Armin began to sway at this point, and he fell off the chair and into Annie’s arms. Luckily, she had anticipated his fall and stood up to catch him. With a sigh and a roll of her eyes, she plopped him down on the couch and pulled a blanket over him. But she couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips when she looked at Armin, who was actually kind of adorable when he was drunk.

“No, you haven’t conquered my heart yet. You’re not even close. But keep trying, and you might someday.” Annie told him. She leaned down to press a soft and fleeting kiss to his cheek before leaving swiftly.

Armin smiled in wonder and reached a hand to touch his flushing cheek where the kiss still lingered. Maybe getting drunk wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That smut scene had me remembering Gimme More by Britney Spears. Oh, joy.


	9. Chapter 9

Mikasa grabbed her hair in frustration staring with frustration at her phone and the text on it.

**From Annie:**

**Hey girl. Just wanted to let you know that Eren’s got a new guy, and he’s famous too. Armin says it’s pretty serious. You’ll lose him for good if you keep wallowing and don’t do anything. Do something about it before you regret it.**

Mikasa was strong; she didn’t fall prey to gossip and rumors easily. So under normal circumstances, she would simply ignore this text and focus on trying to get that beautiful, sunny boy’s face out of her mind. But if there was one thing Mikasa knew about Annie Leonhardt, it was that the girl never lied. Sure, she was cold and conniving, and also a somewhat cruel friend for breaking the news about Eren so bluntly to Mikasa, but she wasn’t a liar. It also helped solidify Annie’s case that she had included a picture of Eren and this other guy kissing as proof.

Mikasa groaned frustratedly. Why was this happening to her? Just 4 months ago, she had an amazing boyfriend that she was madly in love with, and now everything was slipping from her grasp.

It was all the fault of stupid Reiner that Eren broke up with her.

_4 months ago:_

Mikasa walked down the streets of the city. The city was even more busy than the campus, and it didn’t quite have the same safety and security. Eventually after a few minutes, Mikasa became aware that she was being followed.

She turned around and came face to face with a tall, brawny blond that was looking at her with a smug expression on his face.

“Do I know you?” she snapped.

“The name’s Reiner. I’ve seen you around campus.”

“I have no idea who you are and I have no interest in getting to know you.” Mikasa said testily before turning to walk away. She was stopped abruptly when an arm reached out and grabbed her hand and she was whirled around to face Reiner once again.

“I’m sorry for bothering you. It’s just, I can’t resist when I see such a fine woman walking alone. What’s a girl like you doing single?”

“I have a boyfriend. Now let me go.” Mikasa pried her arm from the man’s grasp and ran away without another word.

A few days later, Mikasa got a text from an unknown number that was a picture of a shirtless torso and the caption “You know you want it.” Mikasa frantically blocked the number and hyperventilated about who was potentially stalking her, but a few weeks passed and nothing out of the ordinary occurred.

That is until the day of the break up. Mikasa was on campus at the corner of a street, leaning against a building casually and looking at her phone, like any other student would do. And then she felt a shadow looming over her and looked up to see Reiner grinning at her eerily.

Mikasa did not shriek or do anything rash. She was trained in self-defense, and she knew how to use it if it came down to that.

“What do you want?” she asked warily, not able to go anywhere since she was against the wall.

“Oh, nothing. Just a taste of you.” Reiner said, and before Mikasa knew it, he had her pinned to the wall and try as she might, she could move the burly bastard. She groaned in anger as his lips claimed hers in a messy, dirty kiss, impurifying the lips that were meant only for one boy. And then his hands crept into her pants, groping her and completely violating her, and that was when Mikasa had enough.

With a growl she bit his lips furiously and kneed him in his crotch, escaping from his grasp. She then called 911 and that was the last she ever saw of Reiner.

Unfortunately, the damage was irreversible. Eren had seen and misinterpreted the entire situation, and with that, her entire life vanished before her. Because Eren was Mikasa’s life. He was her dad, her brother, her lover, her best friend, whatever she wanted him to be. And when she lost him, she had nothing left to live for. She woke up every day, unsatisfied, and smiling for the sake of others.

And now, as Mikasa read Annie’s text, she found herself asking why she didn’t explain herself to Eren before. Why didn’t she stop him? Why didn’t she hold on to what was hers?

Maybe she thought he needed space. That it would be better to explain the situation to him once he had cooled his head and gotten rid of his blind fury. But now, it seemed like it was too late. He had moved on to somebody better, richer, nicer. And that was that. Unless…

Annie’s words came back to her. “Do something about it before you regret it.”

It wasn’t too late. It was never too late for love. With new resolve, Mikasa smiled a genuine smile for the first time in days. Here was to getting back what was rightfully hers.

***

Eren sat down, finally in his own bed after two nights of sleeping with Levi. He lay back, viewing his surroundings dismally. His apartment was too dark and cramped. His mattress was lumpy. His blankets were itchy, and worst of all, he was alone.

No Levi.

Eren hadn’t realized that spending two nights with someone could make you so accustomed to them. Compared to Levi’s bright and spacious rooms and soft, refined blankets, everything Eren had seemed worthless. And compared to the feeling of sleeping curled next to Levi, being alone was a horrible punishment.

After their kinky endeavors the previous night, Eren had pulled Levi into bed with him and forced the man to cuddle.

“Tch. Stupid brat. Stop smothering me with your body. That’s not what cuddling is supposed to be like.”

“But that’s how I like it.” Eren said as he draped a leg over Levi and nestled his head into Levi’s chest, sighing with pleasure as the steady beat of Levi’s heart rang through his ears.

Levi sighed reluctantly, but gave in, wrapping his arms around the one he loved and reveling in the warmth that was Eren. And just like that, cocooned in the arms of each other, the two of them drifted off into a content sleep.

And Eren couldn’t help but miss the feeling of Levi’s sturdy arms holding him tight, providing a comfort he had never felt before. When had Eren started thinking about Levi this way? When had Levi become more to him than just a distraction? Why was Levi on Eren’s mind 24/7 as if Eren were some crushing teenager? Why did Eren find himself travelling deeper into a place he didn’t want to be, a place that had only brought him pain and hurt in the past.

Could it be? Was Eren really falling in lo-

Eren’s thoughts were interrupted as he heard the doorbell ring. Groggily, Eren stood up and lumbered over the door, annoyed that somebody had to be here during the night.

Eren opened the door and it took him a minute to process what he was seeing. And when he saw the face in front of him, all feelings he had buried deep within himself bubbled to the surface and tore through him.

The very face he was trying to forget. And just like that, Eren fell apart.


	10. Chapter 10

Armin nearly lost his shit when he went to Mikasa’s dorm and found it showing no signs of the black haired girl.

“Where the hell did Mikasa go?” he yelled to nobody in particular. 

Mikasa’s roommate, Sasha, poked her head in the room. “Oh Armin! Mikasa left.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yeah, she packed some stuff in a suitcase and said she needed to get out for a few days.”

“Do you know where she went?”

“Nope” Sasha said as she pulled out a granola bar and began nibbling on it.

“Does Mikasa use this computer to do stuff?” Armin asked pointing to a desktop in the corner of the room.

“I think so” Sasha replied. Armin, being the tech savvy genius that he was, hacked into Mikasa’s computer within minutes and pulled open her email. And there he found what he was looking for, a confirmation mail.

'Confirming your reservation for Flight No. 227 to Paris…'

Armin didn’t need to read any further. Mikasa had gone to Paris. She went for Eren. How did she even find out about Eren and Levi though? The only person that knew about Levi was Armin himself…. and Annie. That cold-hearted girl must have told Mikasa everything. Armin mentally cursed and kicked himself in the shin. Leave it to him to get drunk and mess everything up. Now that Mikasa was in France, she would stop at nothing to bring Eren back with her.

Armin sighed dejectedly. As much as he supported Mikasa, he couldn’t shake away the feeling that he had ruined his best friend’s chance at a fresh, new relationship.

***  
Eren slammed the door shut after seeing who was there, but she was quick to stick her foot in the crack, preventing him from closing it all the way.

“Why are you here Mikasa? How the fuck did you find me?” Eren growled.

“It wasn’t hard to find you Eren. Pretty much all of us knew you went to Paris this summer. And I’m here because I can’t take it anymore. I miss you. I need you Eren.”

“Well you know what? I have moved on. I don’t need you Mikasa. So you might as well go back.” Eren said loudly, but his voice wavered slightly, enough for both of them to know he was lying.

“Eren, come on. We both know neither of us are over the break up yet, and I want you to listen to me just this once.”

Eren sneered. “What, here to give me some fabricated excuse as to why you were getting cozy with another man while still dating me?”

“Eren I never cheated on you. That guy forced himself on me!”

“You seriously think you can say anything and I’ll be dumb enough to believe you?!” Eren shouted, unable to hold back his anger.

“Fine, then. Read this!” Mikasa thrust a newspaper into Eren’s hands, the latest issue of their college newspaper. “I got that published a few days ago before coming here because I knew you’d want proof. It’s the story of my assault.” Mikasa told him quietly.

Eren’s eyes widened as he read through the article which contained all of the details about Reiner’s pursual of Mikasa.

“I didn’t want my situation to become public knowledge, because once people know you were sexually assaulted, they never look at you the same way again. But if it meant a chance at getting you back, it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.”

Eren looked up at Mikasa and studied her. Her face was impassive, but her eyes were full of sadness that had been bottled up for too long. And in that moment, Eren knew that Mikasa was telling the truth. She always had been. But instead of calming down, Eren just grew more angry.

“Why are you telling me this now? Why didn’t you tell me four months ago when all of this shit happened?”

Mikasa, aware of Eren’s unpredictable temper, proceeded cautiously. “Eren, I figured you needed space. I wanted to wait until you were removed and less mad at me to tell you. You wouldn’t have believed me then anyway.”

“Well, you know what? I think you waited just a bit too long. Because this doesn’t involved just you and me anymore. Now there’s somebody else that’s going to get wrapped up in this mess.”

“Levi. I know about him.” Mikasa said simply.

“Levi has become more important to me than you realize. He’s.. done so much for me. He taught me for free, and he was there when I had nobody else. He fucking loves me Mikasa! And maybe I don’t love him, but I still like him a lot. How can you expect me to go back with you and forget that he ever happened?” Eren’s voice broke and his face was crumpled, defeated.

“Eren, Levi is relatively famous. He has quite a few fans. I bet if you were to leave him, he’d just find somebody else to warm his bed. You’re probably just a temporary amusement for him.”

“No...that can’t be true. Don’t talk that way about Levi!”

“Say he really does love you. You already said you don’t feel the same way about him. Then aren’t you just leading him on? Making him believe something can happen when your heart is already somewhere else?” Mikasa reasoned. 

Eren was growing more and more restless. He should be wary, he thought. He knew how good Mikasa was at logical manipulation, but the worst thing was that nothing she said felt manipulative to him. She just seemed concerned, caring, and motherly. Just like the girl he first fell for so many years ago.

Mikasa continued, her voice desperate now. “You’ve only known him for a month, maybe more. But we were together for years, Eren. We were meant to be. We were going to get married. Did you forget all the promises we made?”

Eren’s fists shook and tears rolled down his cheeks. He willed himself to hold back the strangled sobs that were threatening to break out. 

“I didn’t forget. So why did you let me go? Why did you let me leave you?” Eren cried, pushing weakly at Mikasa’s shoulders. “You… you left me all alone.” Eren fell forward as his vision began to blur from the tears.

Mikasa caught him in her arms. “I know. I’m sorry.” she whispered, gently rubbing the back of his head as he sniffled.

“Please never leave me alone again.” Eren said, finally wrapping his arms around the girl he could never seem to forget.

“I won’t.”

***  
Levi sipped his coffee the next morning, unable to stop fidgeting. He was waiting for the stupid brat to get here. It was as if he wouldn’t truly be awake until he saw the brat, his own personal sun. 

Under normal circumstances, Levi would be concerned as to why he needed someone else’s presence so much in order to feel complete. He was so used to being a lone wolf that this feeling of dependency on another felt strange and foreign.

But Levi didn’t give it much thought, because he was practically a teenager in love. Everything about Eren, from his stormy eyes, cheery smile, relentless determination, contagious youthfulness, and all around hotness, made Levi grow more and more attached to him with each passing day.

Of course, Levi found it irritating that the stupid brat didn’t quite reciprocate his feelings. There were so many men and women everywhere that would be more than willing to be in a relationship with Levi, because honestly, Levi was a catch. But the one person Levi had been able to open up to after so many years of solitude, was too hung up on his ex to officially be with Levi.

But Levi wasn’t too worried. He was confident that if Eren Jaeger stayed with him for a bit longer, he’d be in love as well in no time.

Levi snapped out of his reverie when the doorbell rang, and he had to all but restrain himself from running to the door to see the brat’s face.

On the other side of the door stood said brat, looking like quite the mess.

“Rough night?” Levi questioned.

“That’s a bit of an understatement.” Eren replied, and Levi chuckled, leading Eren inside. Levi didn’t ask Eren to explain what made his night so rough, which Eren was thankful for, because he honestly didn’t know what he would say.

Eren was here for a few more days to wrap things up before he would leave… to go home. And in these days, he would have to mention to Levi that he was going back. But he didn’t know how he would do this without deeply hurting the man. Because going back now meant leaving their feelings unresolved. The only thing Eren knew for sure was that he wanted to make his last few days in the country as enjoyable as possible for the artist.

“So, rough night, disheveled hair… are you screwing someone behind my back?” Levi asked teasingly. Eren gulped nervously at how close to the truth that was. Of course he hadn’t done anything with Mikasa last night; he was nowhere near ready for that. But he still felt like now that Mikasa was back, he was betraying Levi in one way or another.

“Nah, no point screwing around with anyone else when I have someone like you to get down with.” Eren replied. Levi smirked, satisfied with this answer and settled into a chair with his phone, glancing up to watch Eren draw from time to time.

After some time, Eren walked past Levi to get more supplies. Levi took this opportunity to grab the boy’s wrist and pull him into his lap. Eren yelped at this sudden move and shuddered when he saw Levi’s eyes. Levi had that look again, the “I want to devour you” look.

Slowly, Levi rocked his hips up against Eren’s body and licked a long line from the base of Eren’s neck to his ear. When he bit down on Eren’s earlobe, the boy let out a whimper, but it wasn’t enough. Usually by this point, Eren would be moaning and clawing at Levi in attempt to rip his clothes off. But today, Eren was so subdued.. almost as if he wasn’t interested in Levi’s advances.

“So, my seduction isn’t working on you, huh?” he whispered huskily into Eren’s ear. The brunet breathed heavily, but didn’t say anything.

“What’s wrong?” Levi asked, more seriously this time. Eren still didn’t reply, and instead of looking at Levi, he averted his eyes to the side, refusing to make eye contact.

Levi sat back and studied Eren quietly for a few moments. Eren still sat on his lap, looking unhappy and almost… defeated?

After much silence, Levi spoke. “She’s here, isn’t she?”

At his words, Eren visibly stiffened and finally turned to look at Levi, gaze wild and eyes practically screaming, “How does he know?!”

“Eren. I’m asking you a question.” Levi said, all mirth gone from his voice.

Eren took a deep breath and replied, “Yeah… she is.”

They sat tensely staring at each other, Levi’s gray eyes narrowed and hardened. 

“You’re going back with her aren’t you? And nothing I say will convince you otherwise.” Levi guessed, his voice measured.

Eren got off Levi’s lap, standing up weakly. “Levi.. I don’t know what to say-”

“No. You don’t need to make any excuses.” Levi said. He stood up and walked away, stopping with his back towards Eren, face out of sight.

Eren waited anxiously for Levi to say something… anything. But when Levi turned around to face him, Eren was frozen with shock.

Levi’s face was cold and expressionless, as usual. But his eyes were like never before. Swirling with emotion, like molten gray rock, but completely unwelcoming. Levi looked livid with fury. And when he spoke, Eren’s worst fears were confirmed.

“Get out of my house. Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muahaha, cliffhangers give me joy.


	11. Chapter 11

“Get out of my house. Now.”

Eren stilled upon hearing these words, his blood pounding and his mind becoming hazy. Levi was kicking him out?

“What are you waiting for? You have no reason to stay here anymore, if your heart is clearly elsewhere. The door is open for you.” Levi said evenly, only his burning eyes relaying how angry he really was.

“Levi, I’m not leaving without explaining the situation to you. I’ve made that mistake before.”

Levi appraised him quietly and then walked closer to him, glaring intensely. Then he sat down on his chair from before, crossing his legs and leaning back casually.

“Fine then. I’m listening. Explain whatever the hell it is you want to explain.” Levi said with a sneer. Eren fidgeted nervously. Levi had always been intimidating, but this was unlike anything he had ever seen from the man before. It seemed the man always let his gentler side come out around Eren, but right now he was threatening, almost sinister.

Eren took a deep breath and stilled his trembling hands before pouring his heart out.

“Levi, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel anything for you. I like you, I really do. It’s just… I broke up with her even though she never actually cheated on me. I just misunderstood her and pushed her away. She suffered and it was all my fault. I feel like I need to make it up to her.” Eren stopped to collect his thoughts before continuing hurriedly, his words mumbled and quick. “And she was my first love.. I just can’t seem to forget her. I really tried to get over her but I couldn’t and I hate myself for it and I want to make you happy but--”

“Eren. Stop.” Levi said firmly, cutting off Eren’s rambling.

Eren, who had apparently gotten lost in his words, looked up with confusion. “Wh-what?”

“It’s okay. Calm down.” Levi said. All anger had disappeared from his features, his voice back to its cool, silky texture.

“I can’t force you to feel something strong like love for me. Love is not something you can control. Just like I couldn’t stop myself from falling for you, no matter how much I tried.”

Eren gazed at him with his large turquoise eyes. His expression was unreadable, something that surprised Levi. He had gotten so used to being able to read Eren openly that it was unusual to see the boy so guarded.

Levi continued. “If you think about it, you would’ve gone back eventually anyway, even if your ex wasn’t in the way. You’d have to go back to college, your friends.. your home. Something between the two of us would be impractical. I’m older than you. You deserve someone youthful. I live across the ocean. It’s inconvenient at best.”

Eren’s eyes were downcast as he mulled it over. “Yeah.. I guess you’re right.” He couldn’t help but notice the irony in their situation. Hadn’t Eren come today prepared to leave? Then why was Levi the one convincing a reluctant Eren that leaving was the right decision? It was supposed to be the other way around.

“Is there anything that needs wrapping up then?” Eren asked, looking to his mentor for instructions.

“You should gather up all the things you have around here. The drawings you want to take home, and some clothes lying around.”

They worked together in silence, sorting through Eren’s works of art and packing them safely into the small bag he’d brought with him. Eren marveled at the man next to him. He was collected and stoic as always. Was he really no longer upset that Eren was leaving?

When Eren came across his nude portrait, Levi snatched it from his hands quickly.  
“That’s for me to keep.” he said shortly, his cheeks slightly flushed as he made a point not to meet Eren’s eyes, turning his attention back to the task at hand.

It dawned on Eren that Levi was not indifferent to this situation at all. He was simply hiding his feelings, in effort to give Eren a sense of autonomy. Levi did not want Eren to feel forced into making a decision, so he kept his own opinions hidden. His only lapse was his initial display of anger and fury that he quickly overcame. It was noble, really and Eren had to stop himself from staring at the man next to him in awe.

When they finished packing up Eren’s belongings, the workspace Eren had grown so accustomed to looked eerily empty. No more strewn papers, tossed sketches, or eraser shavings. Just a clear desk. The way it had been when he first came here so many weeks ago, eager to learn art and completely enchanted by the man known as Levi. A man that now loved him.

Levi turned to him and spoke softly, interrupting his thoughts. “So, I guess we really are the sun and moon, huh? We weren’t destined to be together. Fate would have it that somebody came before me. I guess I was destined to admire you from afar, like the moon would the sun.”

Eren found himself shuddering at Levi’s words, unable to form a response. Memories flooded through him, memories of that day in the swimming pool when he had so boldly pursued Levi, thinking the metaphor of sun and moon could aid him in his quest. And now that very metaphor was the mark of goodbye.

Levi didn’t wait for Eren to respond. “Can I have one last dance?” he asked instead, and the look in his eyes was so earnest and serious that Eren would have been a fool to refuse.

“Of course” he all but whispered.

The song that Levi put on was sensual, ethereal. He felt Levi’s hands on his waist and the familiar feeling of being whisked in time to the music. Levi’s body molded into his own as they spun endlessly, lost in the unfeeling time of eternity with nothing but the music to propel them forward.

And then Eren felt Levi’s breath hot against his neck and he realized with a start that Levi was singing along with the chorus. Levi’s voice was mind-numbingly wonderful, just another natural talent that made the man unrealistically perfect, god-like.

_Cause you’re beautiful,_   
_Something in your eyes tells me_   
_I have found_   
_Love that never dies_   
_I don’t have to dream,_   
_Reality is beautiful in you._   
_I’ve never felt more true._

Eren was stunned. He had never imagined that Levi could feel so strongly about him. He was what made the world beautiful for Levi, and the prospect brought tears to his eyes. He buried his face into Levi’s shoulder and let the tears fall freely as Levi held him close, gently swaying to the music.

“I’m sorry” Eren cried brokenly as he pulled himself up to look into Levi’s eyes.

Levi said nothing, simply wiping away Eren’s tears with the pads of his fingers. The music continued to flow as Levi reached up on his tiptoes and pressed his lips against Eren’s softly. It wasn’t a kiss, it was a question.

Eren responded to the question with fervor, pulling Levi into his arms to savor one last kiss.

It was decidedly gentle. The raw passion was all there, but it was quiet and breathy. Eren felt consumed as was always the case when he kissed Levi, but this time, he wasn’t being consumed by raging lust and desire. He was being blanketed with affection and emotion in the slow, sweet movements of Levi’s lips against his.

The song had long since ended when they broke apart. Their foreheads pressed together as they stared into each others eyes. No words needed to be exchanged. The silence said it all.

Eren finally moved and slung his bag over his shoulder, turning his back to Levi. He took slow steps towards the door to the outside world, the door that had given him a new opportunity of discovery.

Levi’s hoarse voice called out to him, stopping him. “Eren. Smile.”

It was the last order Eren was to receive from his teacher, and he wanted to complete it as genuinely as possible.

Eren turned around to face Levi once again, his face splitting into a warm smile, his soft pink lips parting to reveal a row of pearly white teeth. Levi smiled faintly in response, his heart warming as the despondent, sorrowful boy he had just seen transformed into the cheeky, grinning brat that had charmed him from the very beginning.

Eren’s brilliant smile dimmed, but his gaze lingered. “Bye, Levi” he managed to get out before turning around again.

“Bye.” Levi murmured, his voice barely audible. He watched as Eren walked out the door and out of sight. He watched as his sun left him, taking all light with him.

And everything was black again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Levi sings is called "Beautiful" by Late Night Alumni and can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEBgl9B2G_8


	12. Chapter 12

Eren couldn’t bring himself to concentrate on “The Amazing Spider-Man 2.” As a fidgety person by nature, Eren found it impossible to sit in one spot for 8 hours. Sure, he had gotten up to use the bathroom a few times, but that didn’t change the fact he was sore from sitting so long and planes were claustrophobic and stifling. Giving up on the movie, Eren took off his headphones and turned his attention to the mess of clouds and blue sky outside the window.

He couldn’t make out any land or ocean anymore. All he saw was sky and the distant sun that was like a small ball of white light. France was fast disappearing behind him, and he was going back to Brown University. Back to Rhode Island, Armin, his parents, his friends, Mikasa… home. But for some reason, the word home now brought a very different image to his mind. He saw lazy days basking in sparse sunlight that streamed into a room full of drawings and easels, and that raven haired man.

But then there was the girl next to him, so familiar and comfortable, giggling at funny scenes in the movie and clutching his arm softly, tentatively, as if afraid Eren would get up and leave her again. And Eren sat on this plane with her. He had chosen her and he had already made up his mind. It was too late to second guess himself now.

With a resigned sigh, Eren leaned his head back and closed his eyes, his breathing evening out. He let the sleep clawing at him finally overcome him, giving himself away to the lull of dreams and oblivion.

***

Eren was upset to find out he had slept through the entire flight, meaning he missed all of the meals and snacks.

“Why didn’t you wake me up Mikasa?”

“I didn’t have the heart to wake you up. You’re like a cute little baby when you sleep!” she smiled. Eren pouted because unlike most people, he actually enjoyed airplane food. Mikasa playfully told him to grow up, but that didn’t stop his stomach from growling all throughout the customs check. He dashed like mad to the first McDonald’s he saw when they were through.

“Mmmm” he groaned as he bit into a burger. “I missed this. Levi didn’t let me eat fast food in France.” Eren couldn’t help but smile slightly as he remembered the man’s lecture on how “greasy fast food is disgusting and unhealthy and you will eat better food than that on my watch.”

“Well, Levi isn’t here anymore. So you can have as much fast food as you want.” Mikasa said dismissively, clearly wanting to move on.

The taxi ride from the airport to campus was uneventful. Not many words were exchanged, but Eren held Mikasa’s hand tightly, grateful to have at least someone to hold on to. He was nervous to say the least. He had been gone from campus for most of the summer now, and he left on unsettled terms, angry at everyone and suffering from a bad break up. And now he was coming back with the very girl he tried to escape. He didn’t know how the students would react, and he most certainly did not want to be the topic of hot gossip.

When the taxi arrived at the campus, Eren hesitantly slid his arm around Mikasa’s waist and began the walk down the street. They got a few raised eyebrows from kids on the street surprised to see Eren back and with Mikasa of all people, but thankfully nobody stopped to question them.

“ERENNN!” came a loud yell. Within seconds, Eren was bombarded by the whole group. Armin, Jean, Marco, Connie, Sasha… all of his friends. They almost managed to tackle him to the ground and Eren laughed, warmed by their enthusiasm.

“Hey guys! I missed you!” he said, getting a good look at the people he hadn’t seen all summer. He decided it was nice that they came to greet him. It showed him that at least he came back for friends who really did care about him.

“Looks like everyone’s favorite couple is back together. Hooray.” Jean said sullenly. It was common knowledge that Jean had a crush on Mikasa, and he really didn’t stand a chance now that Eren was back. To most people, his pissy attitude was fairly amusing.

“Better luck next time, Horseface!” Eren teased. In a mix of laughter and chatter, the group resumed walking, catching up on each other’s newest stories. Everyone was dying to know how Eren and Mikasa got back together, but Eren did not want to explain this, much less mention Levi. Levi was in the past now, and telling more people about him would just make things increasingly complicated.

Thankfully, Mikasa gave them a very simplified version of how she won Eren back. She also managed to shoo everyone away, claiming Eren needed to rest and they could talk to him later.

“Thanks for that, Mikasa. I think I need some alone time to get used to things again.” Eren told her as he plopped down on the couch in his room.

“Alright. Let me know if you need anything” she replied, smiling and softly closing the door, leaving Eren to his own devices.

Eren lay back and just thought about everything. He was here. He had the people he loved. He was ready for college again. And yet he wasn’t happy. Something was missing.

“I need a shower.” Eren grumbled to himself.

He sauntered lazily to the bathroom and stripped off his clothing, examining himself in the mirror. His skin was spotless; the last of the marks Levi had left on him were now faded away.

Once the hot water was ready, he stepped into the shower and let it overwhelm his senses. Instantly, his cramped muscles began to relax and his head cleared. As he stood still in the shower, he remembered the feeling of strong hands landing on his waist and a chest pressing up against his back.

“ _Boo._ ” Levi had whispered in his ear. It was during the summer, on one of the mornings after Eren spent the night at Levi’s place, and Levi surprised Eren by joining him in the shower.

Before Eren could react to the sudden intrusion, Levi’s hands reached around Eren and started softly stroking his rapidly hardening member. And then Eren was pushed up against the cold shower walls with Levi still behind him, quickening the pace of his hand and flicking his wrist in sinfully delightful ways.

When Levi bit down on the nape of Eren’s neck, the boy mewled loudly and then quickly slapped his hand over his mouth. God, why did his mouth have to make the most embarrassing sounds?

But Levi removed Eren’s hand from over his mouth because, damn. That was the fucking hottest thing he had ever heard.

“You should make sounds like that more often.” Levi said smoothly into Eren’s ear. Eren responded by rutting against the manhood behind him.

And now, Eren found himself jerking off alone in a dormitory shower to the memory of something that had happened weeks ago and thousands of miles away. As his own hands worked his length, he imagined the cool, sleek, but rough hands of that artist.

Release left Eren panting heavily but feeling utterly unsatisfied, because touching himself was nowhere near as pleasurable as experiencing Levi’s immensely skillful hands. The incident in the shower that day had not progressed much beyond a hand job because Levi claimed showers were for getting cleaner, not dirtier.

But the two men had proceeded to wash each other’s hair together, each kneading the shampoo into the other’s hair. And now when Eren washed his own hair, he felt the phantom touch of long, elegant fingers rubbing his scalp and moving down to caress his jawline, soft care in every touch.

It was safe to say that when Eren finally finished showering, he was far more perplexed than before. He had left everything in France to come home to his friends and to Mikasa, the girl he considered his true love. But now that he was here, all he could think about was Levi, his touch, his voice, his body.. everything.

And Eren absolutely hated being stuck in a love triangle. How the hell was he supposed to choose between Levi and Mikasa? How could he ever figure out who he loved more?

Then, Eren remembered something Levi had said when they were observing the Mona Lisa at the Louvre.

“To find the truth, you need to see the faces within. The face within the drawing, and the face within you.”

Without another thought, Eren pulled out a blank sheet of paper and his pencil. He had to draw. Of course, that was always the best way to solve problems.

So he closed his eyes shut and began to draw. He wouldn’t need his eyes for this, because he wasn’t looking at the paper anyway. He was looking at the truth inside of him.

Eren’s hands flew with more ease than ever before, driven with a fire that was coursing through his entire body now. The tip of his tongue slipped out of his mouth. His eyes were screwed shut and his brow furrowed in concentration as he started to draw the image he saw materializing in the blackness.

An angular face with a pointed chin. Hair that fell over the face like… _that_. Steely eyes that glinted ever so slightly. A sharp nose, not too prominent. Just protruding enough to create a perfect balance of features. And finally, the lips. Drawing the lips was the hardest part. The lips were what started it all. Their first kiss happened because Eren sucked at drawing lips and needed a "demonstration.” Eren’s fingers tightened around the pencil as he drew those lips that curved into a smile that never reached the eyes. A smirk. And with a bit more shading here and there, Eren was done. It was a quick, haphazard sketch, but Eren knew it would be enough to give him the answer.

Holding back a breath, Eren opened his eyes and looked down at what he had just created. The face within the drawing.. and the face within him.

It was Levi.

All the features Eren had drawn came together to form the composite image of Levi on the paper. It had been Levi all along, and Eren was just too blind to see it.

Eren’s heart raced with excitement. Art could never lie to him. He knew now. He knew where he had to go.

As he raced across the room, scrambling to get his shoes on and put some clothing back into a bag, thoughts bubbled through his mind. He needed to get back to the airport and board the next flight to Paris. What would Levi say when Eren went back? Would he be mad? Or would he willingly accept Eren into his arms?

Either way, Eren planned on kissing him passionately and finally saying those three words to him.

Finally getting his stuff together, Eren dashed out the room and miraculously remembered to lock the door behind him. As he ran down the hallway, he stumbled into none other than Jean Kirstein.

“Where are you going, Jaeger? You just got here.”

“I’m going home, Horseface! I’m going home.” Eren replied happily before continuing down the hallway.

“What do you mean ‘home’? Your dorm is over that way!” Jean hollered after Eren. But Eren had already disappeared down the stairwell, leaving behind a very confused Jean.

“I swear, Jaeger gets crazier every day.” Jean mumbled to himself before going back into his room.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: May contain triggers for some of you (self-harm)

Two days. Two whole days since Levi had seen Eren, and the boy’s absence was absolutely maddening. In these two days, Levi had moped, drank a shitload of wine (because he was too classy for beer, even while depressed), and fucked three different people.

One of them was a random person he met in a club and fucked against a bathroom stall. The second was an excessively flirtatious bartender at the same club who ended up being extremely stale and uninteresting. Then, when he visited one of his own exhibits out of lack of anything better to do, he came across an enigmatic and quietly seductive woman who claimed she was a huge admirer of Levi and his work. He took her home and fucked her on the couch before promptly kicking her out. Like hell she would stay the night. The bed was reserved for Eren and only Eren.

Levi felt despicable after doing this. Before he met Eren, he hadn’t had sex with anyone for three years. So what drove him to suddenly have sex with so many people in such a short timespan?

Of course, Levi knew exactly why he did it. He needed a diversion. He’d hoped that maybe, just maybe, screwing some other people would be enough to take his mind off Eren.

But all he heard while thrusting into the strangers was the way Eren moaned for him, almost growled. The way Eren’s eyes glinted ferally, defiant and never truly submitting to Levi’s whims. The curve of Eren’s spine and the sweat that dripped down the tan, glistening skin.

Even putting personal feelings aside and focusing solely on the physical aspects of their relationship, Eren was not just any lay. He was a truly unique specimen… the only one who could really make Levi come undone. He also happened to be the only person Levi had ever bottomed for. And if Levi was being truly honest with himself, he never just had sex with Eren. Each and every time, he was making love to him.

With a frustrated sigh, Levi got up and out of the chair he was sprawled in. He needed to stop pining. The best way to do so was to get disciplined again. Enough of this alcohol and sex business. He would get back to his everyday routine which involved starting every morning with a cup of coffee while he watched the news.

But when Levi turned on the television for the news, he was immediately reminded of when Eren made him watch “She’s the Man”, giggling and smiling and brightening everything up like the fucking sun he was. How Eren tickled the shit out of him and then promptly cuddled him. And then the damn brat had the audacity to push him up against the walls of the swimming pool and tell Levi to “Let me be the light you’ve been searching for.”

Eren had just been playing with him the whole time, hadn’t he? He shouldn’t have expected anything better from a 20 year old college student in the first place. For Eren, Levi had been a shiny new toy to play with until he got bored. And now Levi had been thrown in the reject pile. Eren never had loved him… never would love him. The boy had been infatuated at best.

It stung. It fucking hurt like hell. And Levi felt fucking stupid for believing he could ever have a chance at love. Because love was painful. Every time he loved something, he ended up losing it and it ripped him apart each time. He’d spent so much time building up walls to guard his heart and all it took was one brat with the most beautiful face he had ever seen to break down those looming walls.

Levi was like a piece of porcelain China, so composed and beautiful, but all it took was the slightest jolt and it would fall to the ground and shatter into a million pieces. And that’s exactly how Levi felt right now.

Broken.

He’d given everything to Eren. His time, his knowledge, his home, and most importantly, his love. And he’d never felt so free before. When he was around Eren, it was like he had wings and he could conquer the world with that boy by his side. But now that Eren was gone, the high of love faded away and he crashed into reality. He had nobody around but himself. And the prospect of utter solitude frightened him. What would he do with all of this money if he had nobody to share it with? What was the point of being admirable and famous if nobody he cared about was there to appreciate it?

What was the point of living if there was nobody to love him?

Levi’s feelings of self-loathing and despondency started culminating into white-hot fury that seared its way through his body and consumed his mind. Any person looking at Levi would have no inkling of the feelings boiling inside him, as his face was quiet as ever. He stared out the window at nothing in particular, but all he saw were flashes of white and red.

In the eerie calm before the storm set in, Levi’s lips started moving as he started to sing for the second time in three days. His voice was melodious and beautiful as always, but it didn’t even matter anymore.

_A tornado flew around my room after you came._

Yes, a tornado. Eren was a storm that uprooted Levi’s whole way of life. He blew in and made Levi’s sense of order all messy. But the storm to come would be even more destructive.

_My eyes don’t shed tears, but boy they pour._

Of course, tears weren’t actually leaking from Levi’s eyes. He had no reason to cry anymore. He rummaged through his kitchen drawer until he found what he was looking for. A knife.

_When I’m thinking about you._   
_I’ve been thinking about you._   
_Do you think about me still?_

Of course he didn’t. Eren was halfway around the world with the woman he loved. He’d probably already forgotten that Levi even existed. Levi was the only one still hung up over their summer tryst. He brought the knife to his wrist and sliced the thin skin, watching the dark red blood stain his pale complexion.

_Or do you not think so far ahead?_   
_‘Cause I’ve been thinking about forever._

Forever. How many times had he thought about a future with Eren? One in which he would nurture Eren’s career, help him become an acclaimed artist. And they could move in together and take a trip together… see oceans all across the world. Spend nights engaging in hot sex or simply holding each other. It was all a fantasy.. it would never become reality. Levi cut into his other wrist, deeper and deeper. The pain brought a grimace to his face but he was unable to stop. He kept singing.

_I remember, how could I forget?_   
_How you feel.._   
_You know you were my first love_   
_A new feel._

Everywhere he looked reminded him of Eren, of love, of broken promises. He cut deeper and deeper. Every fiber in his being screamed in protest and the burning pain, but he kept going. A small part of him felt satisfaction, relished in the sight of red blood now flowing to the ground in thick streams.

Levi felt lightheaded. His voice was coming out in ragged, sharp breaths now and the song was warped by sounds of pain intermingling with the melody. But Levi continued singing. He would keep singing until his body gave out, if that’s what it took.

_Or do you not think so far ahead?_   
_‘Cause I’ve been thinking about for-_

Levi’s vision went black and his breath cut off abruptly. He slumped to the floor as his wrists bled out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Levi sings is "Thinking 'Bout You" by Frank Ocean. I changed some lyrics and skipped some lines but it's more or less the same.


	14. Chapter 14

Eren arrived in the Charles De Gaulle airport of Paris, France with no flight delays, but now he stood in the customs line and there appeared to be no end in sight. He’d already been waiting in line for a half an hour, and as a fidgety person by nature, Eren wasn’t sure how much more he could deal with.

By some miracle, more staff were sent in to help check in travelers, and the line actually began to move. Some time later, Eren was on the other side hailing a taxi and being sure to bargain for a good price this time. When he first came earlier in the summer, he’d been swindled into paying much more for a taxi than necessary.

But today, Eren was armed and ready. He was unstoppable. He wanted to get to Levi and confess his feeling and never leave his side again, and once Eren set his mind to something, he became a force to reckon with.

As the taxi rushed past trees and buildings and entered the city, maneuvering through narrow streets, questions ran through Eren’s mind. Would Levi be at home? What would he be doing? What if he was with someone else? What if he told Eren to go away?

No. Eren was confident that no such thing would happen. Once Levi saw the sincerity in his eyes, he would accept Eren completely.

The car slowed as it came to a stop in front of Levi’s mansion. Eren paid and thanked the driver and watched the cab drive off. As he walked towards the house, he willed his beating heart to quiet down. 

Sometime before, Levi had shown him the spare key he kept hidden in the bushes. Now, thankful for this information, Eren found the key and pushed open the door once it unlocked. He stepped inside and puzzled over how extremely silent the house was.

The last time he came in like this, Levi had been waiting for him upstairs wearing nothing but a cravat and boots. But today, Eren had a feeling that Levi was on the main floor in one of the many rooms. Maybe Levi hadn’t heard the door open, but if Eren started talking, Levi would come to see him, surely. 

He cleared his throat and began.

“Levi, it’s Eren. I’m here again. I don’t know where you are right now, but I figure you can probably hear me.”

He paused a little, hearing for some movement. When he heard nothing, he decided to continue his somewhat prepared speech.

“I’m so sorry for never understanding the depth of what you felt for me. I’m sorry I left you and couldn’t reciprocate your feelings for so long. But when I went back with Mikasa, everything seemed off. When I couldn’t figure out why, I decided to draw something, and my pencil created a portrait of you. And I know now. I know that you’re the one I want to be with.”

As he spoke, Eren began walking around from room to room, looking to see if Levi was anywhere.

“So I’m here to stay. I’m here for us. Please forgive me Levi, and let me kiss you.”

Eren had wandered into the kitchen. Suddenly, he felt his foot step into something wet. He looked down and saw a puddle of deep red blood, and in the center of it was Levi.

The blood curdling scream that escaped Eren’s lips echoed around the room for seconds.

This was all wrong. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Levi was supposed to be full of life and limb, with his devilish smirk, and aura of perfection.

But this… he was pale as death, his eyes masked by tired eyelids. His lips that Eren wanted to feel on every inch of his body were cold and blue.

As Eren examined the deep cuts on Levi’s wrists, tears flowed freely down his cheeks and he couldn’t shake away the feeling that this was all his fault.

***  
Eren hated hospitals. He hated how sterile and lifeless they were. He hated that everyone there seemed too busy for any sort of compassion. He hated the association with sickness and death. Levi was invulnerable. He wasn’t supposed to be in a place like this.  
But still, Eren should be grateful that he got to Levi before it was too late and brought him to the hospital. Levi was still unconscious, but at least he was in a safe place for the time being.

At least he wasn’t dead. That would have been unthinkable. Eren had no idea what he would have done if he hadn’t found a pulse on Levi.

But even now, he was pacing around the waiting room, waiting for somebody to update him. Levi was still in a critical condition, and nothing could be guaranteed just yet. So Eren was understandably distraught and anxious.

A doctor approached Eren and took him into a separate room just when Eren thought he couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Eren Jaeger, right?” the doctor asked. Eren just nodded in affirmation.

“What is your relation to Levi?”

Eren hesitated for a moment. There were so many things he could say to describe this. He could say student, friend, fuck buddy, or lover and all of them would describe different aspects of his relationship with Levi. 

“I’m his boyfriend.” Eren said instead. Somehow, that seemed the most fitting. And Eren felt so much relief that he could finally tell the world that Levi was his boyfriend without any side thoughts badgering him.

“Mr. Jaeger, Levi is currently unconscious. While his self-inflicted wounds weren’t fatal, he lost excessive amounts of blood and unless we can perform a blood transfusion, his life could still be in jeopardy.”

Eren jumped in eagerly. “I’d be more than willing to donate blood to him, doctor.”

“Well, according to the blood test we did on you when you first came in today, you have blood type A, and Levi has blood type O. Unfortunately, you can’t give blood to him.” the doctor said gravely.

“So you’re trying to tell me that we can’t do anything? Aren’t you supposed to have a blood bank for this kind of thing?” Eren exploded, becoming flustered quickly.

The doctor opened his mouth to respond, only to be interrupted by a very familiar voice coming from behind.  
“I’m type O. I’ll give my blood.”

Eren whirled around and came face to face with Mikasa. Exactly the person he needed to see to get even more vexed.

“Mikasa?! How are you here and why the fuck won’t you leave me alone? Take a fucking hint!” Eren all but screamed as he pulled at his hair in frustration.

“Eren calm down” she said, putting her hands on his shoulders. The doctor watched the exchange unfold with a perplexed look on his face.

“Eren, I’m not here to follow you around or force myself to be with you. Jean told me you had left, and when I checked your room I saw your sketch of Levi.”

“And..?” Eren prompted her.

“And, I realize now that you really do love him. Your art could never lie. And I don’t want to get in the way of your happiness ever. So I just came here to end things in a good way and see if you needed any help.”

Eren sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he picked up from being around Levi so much.

“Okay Mikasa. I’m sorry I keep yelling at you. And I’m glad you understand the situation. It’s taken me so long to figure it out myself, but now I know exactly how I feel about everyone.”

The doctor chose this peaceful moment to interject himself into the conversation.

“Well young lady, if you say you’re blood type O, we could really use your help right now.”

“Of course, doctor.”

Eren watched as the doctor lead Mikasa into the operation room and they both disappeared from view. The girl he used to love was going to save the man he now loved. Interesting.

***  
A while later, Mikasa emerged from the room having donated a pint of blood. Levi was still unconscious, but recovering quickly, and it was expected that he would wake up shortly.

Eren hugged Mikasa briefly. It was a quick, friendly hug. No matter what happened, she would always be important to him. Always a comfort, a true friend. He was just no longer in love with her like he used to be.

“You wanna get some food?” he asked her.

She responded eagerly, claiming how the blood draw had drained her. They walked out the hospital with Mikasa clutching Eren’s arm lightly and the promise of seeing Levi soon.

It felt just right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, 100 kudos! Thanks so much for reading :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that these chapters are getting shorter.. that's just how I've been writing them lately I guess.

Eren decided to spend the night at the hospital. He was surprised that the staff let him crash in the waiting room, but he didn’t have anywhere else to go in Paris anyway, and he didn’t want to leave the hospital for fear of not being there when Levi woke up.

Mikasa had left earlier, claiming she didn’t want to get in the way anymore. All of this flying back and forth by catching last minute flights was largely exhausting and also putting strains on the little money they had saved. College students generally had frugal existences.

But in any case, Eren felt much at ease now that he had patched things up with Mikasa. Mikasa would still always be there for him when he needed her, which was imperative. She had been a support system in his life for too long. They were together when they were both neglected adolescents, and Eren wasn’t ready to throw away a friendship like that.

But now Eren had to face something even more daunting. Eventually, Levi would wake up. And after everything that happened in the past few days, Eren wasn’t even sure if Levi would want to see him again.

But Eren was here on a mission: tell Levi how you feel about him. And at this point, nothing could deter Eren from accomplishing this task.

With this resolution in mind, Eren dozed off, stretched out across three chairs and letting fatigue and jet lag overcome him.

***

Eren woke up excessively groggy and disoriented, which he attributed to his out of whack sleep schedule. Judging by the light and the quiet bustle in the hospital now, he guessed it was early morning.

He got up to do some light stretches and was just about to go and ask about Levi when a nurse came up to him.

“Are you Eren Jaeger?” she asked.

“That’s me.”

“Alright, well, some good news for you! The patient you’re here for is awake and you’re now allowed to visit him.”

“Levi’s awake? What room?” Eren felt relief surging through him and his face glowed with enthusiasm.

“He’s just down the hall in room 12” the nurse told him, and even she started chuckling as she watched Eren practically run towards the room.

When Eren got to the room, he raised his fist to knock on the door, and then he paused. This was it. While Eren knew that Levi was recovering, he still had no idea what Levi would look like, what state he would be in. He wanted to be prepared for the worst, but he also didn’t want to overthink things.

Mikasa had suggested getting Levi some flowers, but Eren decided against it, reasoning that Levi would see flowers as wasteful since he couldn’t get any utility out of them.

Wait. What? Eren had to remind himself of who he was. Since when did he ask so many questions and hesitate so much before acting? The only thing separating him from his love right now was a door. And it was high time he opened that door.

Forgetting to knock, Eren slowly pushed open the door.

There he was, looking surprisingly strong and unmarred. Just like the Levi he had always known. The only sign of vulnerability was the hospital gown he was forced to wear. It was white with tiny blue flowers dotting it. Something so flimsy was absolutely unsuited to Levi’s personality, and it was almost comical to see Levi wearing it, if it weren’t for the grave situation that caused this in the first place.

Levi had been staring out the window dismally, but when Eren stepped into the room, Levi’s head immediately turned to face him.

His face remained expressionless, but a flurry of emotions flashed through his eyes. Happiness, anger, annoyance, and… despair.

“Why are you here?” he asked. His voice was rough and ragged from disuse.

But for Eren, simply hearing that voice again, the smooth, lulling voice that mentored him, teased him, caused multiple fantasies (including embarrassing wet dreams), was enough to set him over the edge. 

With a surge of adrenaline coursing through his veins, Eren rushed forward to Levi’s bed and firmly pressed their lips together, moving them desperately in a spur of emotion.

It was not at all what he had planned to do. He had planned to explain his change of heart, ask Levi how he was doing, confess his feelings, and do this all in a mature, measured manner. But of course, Eren Jaeger was anything but mature and measured. Impulsivity was his defining characteristic, and the minute he saw Levi, all thought process vanished from his mind. Maturity be damned.

Levi was initially taken off guard, and thus let Eren kiss him for a few seconds. But as soon as he gained a handle on what was happening, he pushed Eren away from him lightly.

“Fuck. You really are a horny brat. I’m conscious for 10 minutes and you’re already trying to swallow me.” His tone was light with amusement, which gave Eren hope. It seemed like Levi wasn’t even upset with him!

As if reading his mind, Levi said, “I still have no idea why the fuck you’re here and why I’m still alive, so don’t get your hopes up.”

Eren sighed. He figured the best way to mend this incredibly broken situation was to speak from his heart, as incredibly cliche as that was. While improvising was definitely more Eren’s style, he had briefly prepared an idea of what to say upon meeting Levi.

With a deep breath, he began talking.

“Levi, this is all my fault. I know you’re probably pissed at me right now, and you have every right to be. I’ve been really stupid, and I kept leading you on and then leaving you hanging. And I broke your heart. And I probably don’t deserve someone like you, but here’s the thing. I didn’t do any of that on purpose. I was just confused and trying to figure out what I wanted. But it’s all solved now, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying with you for as long as I can before school starts.”

“Are you done?” Levi asked when he detected a pause in Eren’s speech. Eren nodded in affirmation.

“How do I know that all of what you just said is true? I fucking cut myself after you left, Eren. I’ve done some pretty messed up shit before, but never anything like that. You influence me more than you realize. How do I know you won’t get bored of me and leave me alone again?” Levi’s voice was laced with undertones of urgency.

Eren didn’t hesitate to answer.

“Because I love you Levi. I didn’t know it, but I loved you the whole time. I only found out about it when I got back home, and nothing felt right without you there. And when I drew what I was feeling, it ended up being you. You’re the face within me, Levi. I love you, and that’s why you can trust me.”

Levi just sat silently for a few moments after that, staring into those turquoise orbs that were swimming with earnest sincerity. And then his face split into his signature smirk.

“You’re a brat, you know that? But you’re my brat. And I fucking love you.”

After that, Eren crawled onto Levi’s bed and they shared lazy, languid kisses until the nurses discovered them and kicked Eren out and back into the waiting room to allow Levi some time to rest.

But even in the boring waiting room full of outdated magazines, Eren couldn’t keep the stupid grin off his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I originally thought this chapter would be more angsty, and I had this song in mind for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoMy6qga3wo  
> but then it ended up being pretty fluffy. Oh well, the song is still cool!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify, this chapter takes place three weeks after the last one (about when Levi gets discharged from the hospital).

“You little shit.”

Levi’s voice held no real venom, as Eren could easily figure out by now. Thus, deciding that Levi wasn’t actually threatening him, Eren continued doing the thing which had provoked Levi’s remark in the first place.

Which was abruptly lifting Levi into his arms in the middle of a meal and pushing him high up against the nearest wall.

“Could you at least let me finish my lunch before you get all horny on me?” Levi snapped, glaring down at the boy who was holding him up on the wall with one hand and trying to get Levi’s pants off with the other hand. When had the brat become so strong?

“I can’t help it,” Eren playfully retorted. “You look so irresistible when you’re drinking chicken noodle soup with your special soup spoon.” Eren smiled victoriously as he finally managed to unfasten the button and pull down Levi’s pants.

Levi smirked. “That’s the lamest reasoning I’ve ever heard, brat.” But any more snarky words he might’ve said died away when he felt a tongue probing him in places it definitely shouldn’t have been probing.

“Dammit Eren! Get your tongue out of there. That’s fucking unsanitary.” Levi complained, sounding hopelessly unintimidating, because it was really hard to resist the feeling of whatever it was Eren was doing down there.

“It’s not unsanitary, because you’re the cleanest person on Earth.” Eren said as he shifted their position. Eren was now kneeling with both of Levi’s legs around his shoulders, and Levi was still hitched uncomfortably high on the wall.

And then, with no warning at all, Eren’s tongue began penetrating his opening, slowly pushing deeper and Levi made a strangled sound in his throat, warranting him a groan from the brat beneath him.

Levi flung his head back as Eren finished up. It felt insanely good, it really had. But Levi was never one to pass up an opportunity to play with Eren. So the minute Eren let go of him, Levi flipped their positions and fucked Eren against the wall, hands feeling every inch of tan skin he had touched this way only a few hours ago. Lunch was long forgotten.

After it was all over, they both lazily fell to the impeccably clean floor and lay in silence until Eren began snickering. It wasn’t long before Levi joined him and laughed harder than he had in years. This was ridiculous. They were both absolutely insatiable. How much sex could one couple have before getting bored?

It had been like this since Levi was discharged from the hospital three weeks ago. They were inseparable, both mentally and physically. If they weren’t naked and on top of each other, then they were out and about on the streets, seeing everything they could possibly see together before Eren had to go back to school. Three weeks was a lot of time when it really came down to it, and Levi took Eren everywhere within reach. More of Paris, southern France, London, Brussels, and Eren had soaked it all up with his usual undying enthusiasm.

Eren would leave tomorrow, and both of them had been avoiding discussing this topic. They didn’t want to think about distance yet, not when they were closer than ever before. Things were no longer fragile like they had been when Levi first woke up in the hospital. If anything, their relationship was even stronger after that jarring incident. Levi had come so close to ending it all, losing it all, that now they would do anything to keep it together, keep it healthy.

But today was Eren’s last day. And Levi realized they really needed to have a discussion about this. They’d put it off long enough.

“Hey Levi, can we go out somewhere? Just a simple cafe, nothing fancy.” Eren started to stand up as asked this, prompting Levi to do the same.

Levi snorted. “So you’re letting a perfectly good lunch go untouched, just so we can go to a cafe?”

“We don’t have to order anything, I just wanted to talk.” Eren explained. Ah, so they were thinking the same thing.

“Okay, we can go. But not before we clean up first.”

And so they made their way into a shower that involved a lot of stupid splashing around before Levi decided they had to grow up and actually focus on showering.

But it was such a joy to act like a child without a care in the world sometimes.

***

They ended up ordering crepes because skipping lunch actually made them reasonably hungry. Eren ordered one with Nutella, which Levi had never really been a fan of, but he couldn’t expect much more from a college student.

When they finished eating, they settled into a comfortable silence that Eren was the first to interrupt.

“So, I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“I know.”

“What are we going to do?”

Levi thought for a moment and then said on an impulse, “I’ll come with you.”

Eren’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Wait, actually?”

“Yeah. There’s really no problem if both of us are in the same place. So I’ll come with you.” Levi tried to sound convincing as he said this, but there were too many questions running through his mind, all of which Eren was quick to voice.

“Levi, your whole career, your establishment is all situated here. How could you just leave it all and move across the ocean on such short notice?” he asked, trying to be the voice of reason.

“It’s no big deal. I’m prepared to do anything for you, Eren.”

Eren sighed, avoiding meeting Levi’s intense gaze. “I don’t want you to feel forced into doing something you’re not ready to do, just for me. I would love to have you over there with me, but you don’t have to change your whole way of life just because I have to finish college.”

Eren let Levi ponder this quietly before continuing.

“And I know you’re in France for reasons other than art. This is the one place you can get away to. This is where you feel strong and independent. Are you really ready to go back to the states where you lost everything?”

This must have struck a chord within Levi because he responded slowly, “Even after all these years, I don’t know…. I don’t think I’m ready to go back yet.”

“And that’s okay.” Eren whispered. “It’s only a matter of two years, and then I’ll be done with school and we can figure out where to go from there. Besides, long distance relationships can’t be that bad, right?”

“You’re right. And I’m fucking proud of you for being so mature. But you have to visit me on breaks.”

“Yeah, well my parents don’t give a shit where I am anyway, and I’m always looking for an excuse to see France. I’m obviously going to visit you whenever I can.”

They sat comfortably quiet for a few moments and then a smirk toyed on Levi’s lips, a sure sign that he was thinking about something.

“What is it?” Eren pressed.

“Oh nothing. Just that now we’ll get to try out phone sex. I’m looking forward to having your entire dormitory know my name.” Levi’s eyes twinkled mischievously as he said this, and Eren couldn’t get enough of seeing so much happiness in the one he loved.

“And you accuse me of being horny? You’re such a dirty old man.” he teased.

“Watch it, Jaeger. You don’t want me to punish you, do you?”

“Oh, I think I wouldn’t mind.” Eren breathed, and the effect on Levi was instantaneous. His grip tightened on the cup of tea he had been nursing, and he stood up abruptly, planting a bill down on the table and hauling Eren towards the exit.

“We’re going to get out of here before you make me do something I regret.” Levi told him, and Eren grinned in response.

But both of them were content with spending the rest of the day and evening wandering around the city holding hands lightly and taking in Paris together one last time. There was a comfort in returning to Levi’s house and going through the routine of eating dinner and curling up on the couch to watch a movie neither of them wanted to see. And sometimes, drawing in silence and simply being in the other’s presence was enough to satisfy any rumbling hunger.

***

Eren had checked in at the airport the next morning and was now stalling for time before he’d have to go through the security check and say goodbye to Levi. For now.

“You sure you have all of your crap? You’ve made so many trips back and forth that I don’t even remember what you’re supposed to have anymore.” Levi said as he leaned against the wall with Eren next to him doing the same.

“I only brought a small bag with a few clothes this time. And then there’s souvenirs and some other stuff you gave me. I have everything.”

“Good.” Levi said, turning to face the boy as he did so.

“I’ll call you as soon as I land. It’s going to be okay.” Eren told him, sounding very much as if he were trying not to get emotional.

Levi cupped his face and stared up into those enchanting teal eyes he always seemed to be thinking about.

“Don’t worry about it. Long distance can work out fine. Go to school, have fun with your friends, work hard. Do everything I know you have the potential to do.”

“Thank you, Levi. For everything. Thank you for making me a better artist, person, and lover. I owe it to you.”

“You don’t have to be so formal with me. It’s my pleasure, Eren. It always has been. Because I love you.”

“I love you too.” Eren leaned down then to kiss Levi and it was as if his nerves were calming down, his breathing was evening out, his mind was clearing. And he could focus on the lips that were caressing his own, the silky black hair threading through his fingers, the intoxicating scent of this man he was undeniably in love with.

Levi smiled up at him when they broke apart, but he didn’t say goodbye. Because this wasn’t goodbye or farewell. There was so much more to come.

Eren walked over to the security check and stood in line, watching Levi and waving every few minutes. Levi kept standing there, waiting until Eren had disappeared to the other side.

And even though Levi was watching the man he loved walk away from him once again, he didn’t hurt at all.

Because now they belonged to each other. And Eren may be leaving right now, but he was definitely coming back.

This wasn’t the end at all. This was the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the last chapter. Thanks so much for reading, commenting, and kudosing. It really means a lot to me!


	17. Chapter 17

3 years later:

“Eren! You can’t possibly wear that tonight.” Armin sighed, exasperated.

“Why? Does it look bad?”

“No, you don’t look bad. But you could look a lot better.” the blond explained.

“Fine then. Why don’t you pick out my outfit for me, Mr. Genius?” Eren retorted.

“I think I’ll do just that.”

After a few minutes of digging around in Eren’s closet, Armin came up with a black suit that he thrust into Eren’s hands.

“You look hot.” he said once Eren had changed into it and come out to show him.

“Thanks for picking it out for me. Actually, thanks for coming up to New York for me. I can always count on you.”

“Eren, you’re my best friend. And this is your first art show. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. One year out of college and you’re already making it places. I’m so proud of you.” Armin beamed.

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without certain mentorship..” Eren trailed off, smiling slightly as he thought of Levi.

“Is he coming tonight?” Armin asked cautiously.

“I don’t know.. he said he would try. But I don’t want to push him. He still hasn’t been to America since his parents died, and every time we meet up, it’s me going to France. I get the feeling that he isn’t ready to come back yet, which is okay. But I’ll still be a little sad if he doesn’t show up tonight.”

Armin nodded in understanding. “Either way, he’ll be with you in spirit. But I think you should have a little more faith in him.”

“Anyway, how are things with you and Annie?” Eren asked, quick to change the subject.

“Things are great! We’re steady.” Armin said, flushing a little. Armin and Annie had started dating a year ago, and Eren could see how happy it made his best friend. Sure, Annie had snitched to Mikasa about Eren and Levi, but that was a while ago, and everything had ended up well, hadn’t it? In any case, Annie’s mysterious tendencies almost made her more appealing to Armin. He liked someone who could keep him on his feet.

“We should probably head down to the gallery so I can get ready for the exhibition.” Eren said, heading to the door of his very small New York City apartment.

“Mikasa just texted and said she’ll meet us there.” Armin said, following Eren out the door.

***

Eren navigated the streets of the city effortlessly, entirely comfortable in the city that never sleeps, and Armin struggled to keep up. When Eren first moved here after graduating, he felt as if everything he looked at was something Levi had seen as a child, something that kept them connected despite the distance between them.

At this moment, Eren realized he hadn’t seen Levi for four months.

But he was pulled out of his thoughts when Armin rushed ahead of him and into the building they were approaching. When Eren stepped inside, he couldn’t believe his eyes. It seemed like everyone was here. Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Ymir, Krista and a bunch of other faces from college Eren had never expected to see again.

“How.. how did you guys all manage to show up?” he breathed.

Krista piped up. “We may have graduated, but we’re still former classmates. This is like a reunion for all of us.”

Eren couldn’t keep the grin off of his face as he went around to greet his friends. Maybe Levi wasn’t here, but this surprise almost made up for his absence. 

When he got around to Mikasa, she hugged him tightly. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw her looking so carefree and happy.  
Once they had gotten past hello’s, they sat down at a table to have a real talk.

“I’m kind of nervous” Eren admitted to her.

“Oh please. You’re Eren. You have no reason to be nervous.” 

“Yeah, but this is the event that could spur the rest of my career. I don’t want to blow it.” he said, staring at his hands.

“Eren, you’ve already done the work. You made your drawings already. This is just the part where you look dapper and answer people’s questions. You’ll do great.” Mikasa said, her eyes twinkling.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve got this. We still have a half an hour until the gallery opens. Let’s talk about you. How was your date with Jean?”

At this, Mikasa threw her head back and laughed. “It was better than the first date, I’ll tell you that.”

“Do you think you’ll pursue something with him?” Eren asked, unable to keep the sour tone from his voice. Jean was never his favorite friend.

“I don’t know. He’s a good guy and he’s wanted to take me out for so long, so I figured I’d give him a chance.”

“Well, he’d better use that chance right.” Eren said, causing Mikasa to laugh again. And just like that, Eren allowed himself to relax in the presence of his favorite girl.

***

It was about an hour into the show and everything so far had gone exceptionally well. Eren was surprised at the amount of ordinary people that had dropped by simply for some entertainment. There were also talent scouts and critics who Eren had hopefully been able to impress. But the whole time, he felt himself waiting for one person who most likely wouldn’t even come, and it was really starting to get on his nerves.

So when he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see steel gray eyes, his breath caught in his throat.

“You must be Eren Jaeger.” the man said. Ah, so he was playing a game. Well, two could play this game.

“Yes I am.” Eren answered brightly. “And you are?”

The man cleared his throat. “Levi Ackerman. Surely you’ve heard of me.”

“Ohh, Levi. Yes, I’m a big fan of your work.”

“And I’m pretty impressed by what you have here as well.”

“So, what brings you from Paris to New York City?” Eren asked, trying to seem as sincere as possible.

“Oh, there’s just someone here I couldn’t stay away from.” Levi was definitely smirking now.

“Really? Well, what does this person look like?” Eren was enjoying this game far too much, and maybe fishing for compliments just a little.

“I could show you if you want. Although I don’t know why you’re so curious, considering we just met.” Levi began walking away, and Eren presumed he was supposed to follow.

Levi lead him to where Eren’s self-portrait was hanging, and a tight feeling started spreading through Eren’s chest, which he wished would just go away.

“This is the brat that keeps pulling me here. He doesn’t even try to. It just happens. He tries to make long distance work by visiting me in France like the little enthusiast he is, but I’m finally ready to move here to be with him permanently.”

“Wow. That’s quite the story you’ve got there.” Eren replied, trying to keep his heart from swelling uncontrollably.

“Oh, shut up Eren. You don’t have to keep pretending. Just fucking kiss me already.” Levi said, turning to face Eren completely.

Eren however, was willing to test Levi a little more. “Mr. Ackerman! Are you suggesting that I kiss a stranger in front of all these people at the exhibition?”

Levi glared at him intensely, and Eren would’ve been intimidated had he not known Levi so well.

“Shitty brat. Fine then. We’ll do this my way.” he snapped. Then Levi dropped to one knee and Eren couldn’t even process what was happening because his mind was buzzing so crazily.

“Eren Jaeger, you have no idea how proud I am to see you here today. I know you give me credit for getting you here, but trust me when I say you had it all in you. I just helped you a bit. But teaching you was a blessing, kid, because I got to see your smile everyday, see your determination, feel the way you made me happier than I’ve ever been. Hear the way you’d moan just for me.” Levi smirked devilishly here and a few wolf-whistles came from the crowd that had gathered to watch the spectacle unfold.

“But most of all, you taught me how to love again. I love every inch of you, and I want to do so for the rest of my life. So Eren, will you marry me?”

Levi pulled out a small box, and in it was a silver ring with an emerald gemstone embedded in its center.

Eren had no words, except for one. “Yes. Yes yes, oh my god Levi, yes.”

Levi slipped the ring on his tanned finger and Eren pulled him up off his knee and threw his arms around the shorter man, kissing him with all excitement and little focus.

“Tch. You’re kissing everything on my face except my actual lips.” Levi muttered fondly. He took the initiative to stand on his tiptoes and kiss Eren properly, and when he finally did, the already clapping crowd cheered loudly.

“Levi,” Eren breathed once he pulled away. “This ring is perfect.”

“I know. It’s the color of your eyes. Armin helped me pick it out.”

Eren whirled around to face Armin. “You knew he was coming this whole time?!”

The blond simply smiled sheepishly back at him. “This is surprise number two of the day!”

And looking around at all of his friends together in one place, his hard work proudly on display, and this man now rightfully his and here in his arms, Eren realized this day couldn’t possibly have been better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end. Thank you so much to everyone who read this, kudosed, and commented. You really made the experience of writing a first fanfiction that much more fulfilling. Now that I've finished this story, I look forward to writing other works. I just posted a oneshot called "Frigid Heart", so if you like my writing, you can check that out. Thanks again, and hope you have a wonderful day!


End file.
